my hubby has put on nearly 3 stone since we met.......

[nickynocky]

when we met 2 1/2 years ago i was 9 stone (5"7), he was 11 1/2 (5"10). since then i have had two babies and gone up to 14 stone (at 9 months pregnant), he weighs just under 14 1/2 stone.

at the start of jan we agreed we were both going to lose weight, and promised ourselves a weekend away together when we had both lost 2 stone. i now weigh just over 10 but he is still 14 1/2.

i havent found it easy to lose weight (at all!), am still bf dd too. dh did lose about 1/2 stone but has put it back on, and a bit more i think.

he is pretty active, but just eats loads. we went to pub yesterday for lunch and he had huge baguette, portion of chips and a pint.

he is in his mid 40's, his dad is also pretty overweight and has had several heart attacks. i want dh to be able to run round with our kids and grandkids, not be barely able to walk like his dad.

the other thing is i have arthritis in my hips which can make sex uncomfortable, it would make a huge difference if he lost 2-3 stone

i have tried joking about it, tried talking to him about my concerns about his/his dads health and he listens, but then doesn't do owt!

any advice? (have changed my name as dh sometimes reads my posts and don't want to upset him)

ah now I can sympathise with this

is there a sport your dh likes? mine has started playing 5 a side football. It's been brilliant for all sorts of reasons (sociable and health wise). Your dh doesn't need to feel he is too unfit to play because judging by dh's team and others, there are lots of teams like that. If he likes footie, see if there's a 5 a side place near you (like Goals).

Although having said that, it hasn't helped dh lose weight but it did lower his bp. I think changing the way your dh eats is key and it's really not easy. You'll need his buy in. Who does the food shopping in your house?

In the end though, if he doesn't want to lose weight, you can't force him.

has he had his cholesterol checked or his bp? this is what triggered dh into doing something.

What about gym membership or a wii fit for his birthday?

Make all his meals for him, don't buy any snacks etc

Does he have any friends he can play squash or badminton with once a week? Can you go swimming with him and take it in turns to watch the kids and do lengths?

My dp has lost a bit of weight recently by taking a packed lunch to work, apparently everyone in the office is making an effort to eat less crap.

Well done to you for losing your weight!

cut the crap out of the shopping budget, you have both put on weight. Anything you could do together? Tennis?

I agree with FIS that he has to want to do it. When he cooks, what does he cook?

we have both put on weight charlie cat, but i am a stone heavier than when we met, he is 3 stone heavier! and i have had 2 babies in that time and am still bfing!

he doesn't really cook, i do. do a lot of salads when it hot, stuff like shep pie ets when it cold. we are veggy though so made with quorn, always use olive oil not veg oil etc. have very little crap in the house, only a few cakw bars for ds's packed lunch. i don't really see him eating excessively at home, sometimes choc wrappers fall out of his trouser pockets though!

he does exercise, bikes 6 miles to work and back every day, goes swimming once or twice a week, has a very physical job, think it is down to diet really!

packed lunch is good idea, as is getting his cholesterol/bp checked

his bmi is 28.5.

i know he needs to want to lose weight, but how do i make him want to!?

I think the health thing is a biggie for a lot of blokes. Dh was quite scared when his bp measured high. I think that's when it hit home that he needed to do something (he also has a history of heart attacks in his family).

I would ask your dh is he minds going to the GP to have his cholesterol/bp done. Just tell him you're worried about the family history and if there is something wrong with either of those things, then finding out about it now will mean you can do something to prevent problems.

You might find just the mere mention of that will spur him into thinking more about what he is eating.

Also, and I'm not accusing all men of being a bit err dense about food, I found that dh had VERY LITTLE understanding about things like saturated fats and foods that would make him put on weight etc. which is not necessarily a bad thing but I found that when I showed dh how to read a food label, he was a lot more empowered!

Having said all that, we still eat a lot of crap. But with us, it really was a health scare that made a difference. Otherwise I do tend to feel live and let live. Dh is mid 40s too and finds it nigh impossible to lose weight now, even when he exercises more.

I think you need to educate him about how food makes his body react

eg
If you eat oats for breakfast you will feel full til lunchtime pretty much

If you want to stuff your face with carbs do it at lunchtime as you have time to burn it off

Don#t snack just before bed

etc