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Relationships

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Original poster

How do you and your DP sleep?

34 replies

saintshar · 01/02/2005 16:56

I was thinking about this the other day. Most people say that DH and I have a very close relationship - and they are right. We have been together for 13 Years, we still hold hands, snog etc, etc. but when we go to bed, we end up having our backs to each other - always have.

Now the only other people i can comment about with regards to this are my parent. They have always had a very volatile relationship. They have never really 'got on' and they often say they wonder why they are still together - so do I. But they sleep in a 'spoons' position, with their arms around each other.

All very strange if you ask me, you obviously would think it would be the other way around! - or maybe we are just a strange family.

So does your sleeping position match your relationship?

OP posts:

jessicasmummy · 01/02/2005 16:58

me and dh have the best relationship ever, yet we both sleep facing outwards.... he sleeps on his front looking out, and i sleep on my side with my back to him... we always have "night night" kisses and cuddles and the we promptly roll over and go to sleep!!!

jampots · 01/02/2005 16:59

we sleep backs together too unless dh is feeling amorous then of course he doesnt

starlover · 01/02/2005 17:01

hmm, well I think me and dp have a good relationship... but i can't stand anything touching me while i sleep!
so i am always kicking him when he rolls over and leans on me in the night, and we have many tug-of-wars over the duvet because we sleep so far apart. LOL
I will gladly have a cuddle up with him in bed, but I can't sleep like it so end up moving away.

Tommy · 01/02/2005 17:02

Starlover - are you me?!

Original poster

saintshar · 01/02/2005 17:04

YEY - so i am not strange!!!!

Always thought we were odd!!

OP posts:

cat82 · 01/02/2005 17:05

I think dp and i have a good relationship all in all as well. Dp usualy comes to say goodnight to me, as i go to bed before him usualy. Then when he comes up he gives me a cuddle, i usualy drift off again with my head on his chest and him cuddling me, but normaly just before i properly go to sleep we roll away from each other and sleep back to back. I don't think either of us can sleep otherwise!

cat82 · 01/02/2005 17:06

Oooh and i have the oppisit problem, dp normaly gives me the damn duvet and i wake up melting, because he gets to warm. I normaly have to re-make the bed halfway through the night!

Fastasleep · 01/02/2005 17:07

There was some psycho babble I read that said if you continue to sleep in the spoons position for longer than the honeymoon period of your relationship then either one person was 'giving' a lot more than the other or they were both clinging on because they felt insecure about a part of their relationship (don't be offended spoony people, it's only half read psycho trash!)

Most people do back to back apparently.... Me and DH do

Gwenick · 01/02/2005 17:10

We do back to back (ooo could sound rather kinky if read the wrong way!!) too - always have done - can't stand people breathing in my face while I'm sleeping - we also have duvet fights - even with kissess and cuddles before sleeping we roll over and sleep 'away' from each other

LipstickMum · 01/02/2005 17:11

Me and dp cuddle in bed before we go to sleep. After the cuddle we both migrate back to our respective sides of the bed! We have a super king or something, we just like our space when we sleep. Can't understand how couples wake up in each others arms in the morning, either dp or I would have elbowed the other away long before then

doggiewalker · 01/02/2005 17:13

I also HATE being touched while sleeping, even elbows, so if we're lying on our backs and elbows touch I have to move away.

Usually, dh sleeps on his back and I sleep facing away on my side.

But we have a very close relationship, I think it shows that you don't need to be suffocating each other to have that kind of relationship.

Raindog · 01/02/2005 17:16

I'm definitely a back to back sleeper, although I'm sure we both turn over a few times during the night so are occasionally facing. I think I'd get pins and needles if I tried falling asleep and cuddling at the same time!

sweetkitty · 01/02/2005 17:17

We're the same we have our cuddles then go to our sides I literlly start sweating if I'm near DP for any length of time I have never known anyone so warm. We each have our own duvets too I have the king size mega tog one and he has his own little 4 tog single.

Although now DD in with us she sleeps in the middle and we share a duvet and DP sleeps with his back on us. We all sleep fine like this and more often than not a cat sneaks in and sleeps at our feet during the night too.

Gwenick · 01/02/2005 17:18

forgot to add - Dh and I have a strong relationship too

jessicasmummy · 01/02/2005 17:20

sweetkitty.... glad im not the only one who has seperate duvets! DH has a mega thick single and i have our summer double... suits us down to the ground!

kama · 01/02/2005 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Slinky · 01/02/2005 21:05

We sleep "back-to-back" - always have done and we've been together for 15 years. I can't bear people breathing over me and I don't like to get too hot

prunegirl · 01/02/2005 21:10

Message withdrawn

Evesmama · 01/02/2005 21:11

him in our bed..me in back bed with dd

tammybear · 01/02/2005 21:14

lol i love this thread! me and dp sleep with our backs to each other too when we're together, although the odd time we have slept holding each other, but usually i find i get too hot or my arm goes dead, or i really need to turn onto my side, or hes breathing on me, or he finds my hairs tickling him, or one of us has to get up to go toilet during the night, or if one of us gets up, we cant get back to being comfortable. so i prefer to turn my back on him so i can get a decent sleep lol

MrsEvs · 01/02/2005 21:18

I saw some body language malarky on TV once that said people who slept back to back were confident in their relationship and didn't need the constant reassurance of cuddles - so sounds healthy to me

dh and I do tend to sleep back to back, but when we wake up in the am we cuddle up into spoons and doze for another half an hr or so. Couldn't do it all night though, would feel suffocated

piffle · 01/02/2005 21:23

we go to sleep snuggled up, him on his back, me in crook of his arm and shoulder, be we migrate to backs facing, but always our feet touch
we snog and hand hold and touch loads too... 5yrs on...

kate100 · 01/02/2005 21:29

I sleep facing outwards and DH sleeps as if he is in a spin dryer, he goes round and round all night, sometimes feel a bit seasick. He is far too hot to snuggle up to, like a big hot water bottle in the bed, but we have a very close relationship.

emmatmg · 01/02/2005 21:32

Dh on his front and me on my side both facing away from him.

We could never sleep cuddled up.

NameChangingMancMidlander · 01/02/2005 21:33

I'm not a snuggler in bed. I like to be left alone when I'm ready for sleep and yet I'm one for PDAs and snuggling on the sofa etc. DH would happily fall to sleep in a snuggle, although I think he'd wriggle out when I gave him a dead arm !

I just can't get comfy enough to sleep in a snuggly position, I get to hot and I feel like I can't move.

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