Help me

[mazma]

If you found out about someone’s past about domestic violence what would you do if that person doesn’t do it anymore? Can’t disclose much.

Leave, immediately. They might not do it again, or they might?

If someone shows you who they are, believe them. This person has shown that he is an abuser, don’t wait to be abused by him.

Also…ask yourself this question with a different crime like murder or child abuse…you’d run a mile wouldn’t you

I'd take it very seriously. Did you do Clare's Law? A leopard doesn't change it's spots I'm afraid.

Abusers don’t tend to change, maybe in some cases if they have done extensive work but very few.

Please end the relationship.

Yep I did a Claire’s law, the list is long and he keeps blaming me for everything. Stayed at my mums for a week and I stayed longer and he’s gone mad about it, how does that possibly make me want to go home when I’m not gonna feel welcome snd will receive the silent treatment

If this was a man I was in a relationship I would end the relationship I think. As others have said, you wouldn’t forgive rape, murder, stealing or drug dealing (well I wouldn’t.)

You’re right OP, and it might not only be the silent treatment that he metes out.

This means he is a convicted violent criminal, right?

You can do better that that…

How long have you been together?

Five years, he has showed signs and I have a kid with him.

Whose house is it? Contact the police for advice on getting him away from you, he's a dangerous repeat criminal, you'll need help.

No further actions were made

So are you guys saying he will never change

One day you might just trigger something in him & he’ll revert.
Don’t go home. The silent treatment is abuse too.
Get yourself out of that relationship.
Tell your mum (parents). Hopefully they will help.

This is a major NO NO. They never change by the way.

I’m absolutely stuck then, I am married to him. And I feel like my future will never be bright as I have a child who would want to take me on with a child. He has a reaction to everything. Just above as you can see about what I posted about staying at mums, he’s writing long ass messages about it and he doesn’t stop saying I can’t communicate

I left an abusive husband with three children. A few years later I met the most wonderful man in the world and we’re still blissfully happy 20 years later.

But right now, another man should be the last thing in your mind! He will never change, and your DC will grow up thinking that’s how men should treat women. You really need to leave and work on your self-esteem.

maybe just spend some time being single???

From the current behaviour you have described he has not changed one bit. Leave. But be very careful how you do that. Contact Women's Aid.

You don't need a man in your life to have a bright future. And you will 100% have a brighter future without this abuser in your life.

A lass I work with said today - fuck it and they can choke on my balls. I was pretty much taken aback at the time but thinking about it, I applauded her

You do not have to stay with an abusive man because you have a child and may have to be a single mother, you leave the fucker so you and your child have a chance of a life

Thank you for all your post but what do I do with the long messages he has sent me and he sending me lists is mistakes that I have done to him and he is feeling hurt and the mistakes are petty such as talking about the car seat for my son that I didn’t like it and he saying we discussed it together but I never only sent the links and he just chose it. Thought we will choose it together but he bought it and he shouted at me front of his family when I mentioned that it’s not what I I wanted

I just wouldn't take the risk for both yourself and your child. You've said there have already been signs. Take care and tread carefully.

You are not stuck with him at all. You need to leave and keep yourself safe.

Please leave him. He will never change. I went through 22 years of waiting for my abusive ex to change. Leaving him was the best decision of my life. I'm blissfully happy now.

Your mistakes are irrelevant. It doesn’t matter at all in this situation. If you want to leave him then you leave him, he can’t force you to stay with him because he has a list of your so called mistakes.

You could have stabbed his mum in the heart, but that doesn’t make a difference on whether you get to choose to leave him.

Nobody can make you stay with them!

Seek help from women's aid or police etc pn how to safely leave. Do not go back.

You need legal advice.

Do you rent or own?

Stay strong.