Found out Ex is engaged

[Sunshinestar7]

Found out my Ex is engaged.
We cut contact a year ago, he got with her 3 months after me. Part of me always hoped I would hear from him again. I don’t think I’ve ever truly moved on.
Should I message him to say congratulations?? Any advice what you would do?

Of course you shouldn't message him. He's moved on and is with someone else. Time for you to move on too OP

Op messaging him won’t get what you want, it will make you feel worse, he’s just proposed, he will be on a high with excitement, they are clearly in the honeymoon phase, and hugely loved up if they’ve only been together less than a year,

texting this man isn’t going to have bin suddenly go omg I should be with her, it won’t open a line up for him to be with yoh or cheat with you.

just move on, for your sake,

Absolutely not. You will make yourself look foolish.

Have you had any counselling?

So why are you wanting to congratulate him? Do you want him to start thinking about you again? Leave him alone.

Ignore. I had an ex who got married about 3 months after we split. They are still together now, 20 years later, but I know for a fact he was cheating on her for at least the first 5 years (then I moved away so have no connections to anyone there anymore). I’m just thankful it wasn’t me frankly!

OP, you do absolutely NOTHING. You may still carry a torch for him, but clearly, he has moved on. You need to as well - obsessing about a past love will get you nowhere.

This is the right advice OP. This right here.

I can sympathise 100%. I’ve been there and I couldn’t have felt worse.

But, chin up, my friend. Take it one day at a time. x

Don’t get in touch with him, though. He’s being a bit cruel.

Such great advice from you all. Thank you.

Really good to know that others have been here also and have gone on to find Love despite the timing of it.

I could well be the fiancee in this scenario. The timelines fit.

If my partner's ex tried to contact him to "congratulate" him on our engagement, she'd find that she is blocked on everything, so her message wouldn't reach him anyway.

If she tried to contact him through other means (fake profile/ different number/ mutual friends) she'd simply get blocked again, or in the case of friends it would be ignored by him. He actively avoids places others tell him she's been seen in.

He has moved on and has no interest in hearing from his ex again. The relationship ended for a reason.

And I cannot imagine how hurt she'd be if she knew the full extent of his commitment since he also changed his mind on having children.

No good will come of attempted contact, OP. You risk being hurt again, and risk hurting even more if you delve deeper into his new relationship.

He was hedging his bets then. And unfortunately you weren’t first choice. Just try to be satisfied you know that, because you didn’t waste more time with him. And I’m sorry that it still hurts.

You sound more than a little — odd. Do you manacle him to you when out for a walk, too?

You sound over triumphant.

Huh?

I had nothing to do with his decision to block the woman.

I sound like someone who knows that the ex has been seeking contact through indirect means (turning up in the neighbourhood despite having moved to the next village, approaching his family etc.), and have observed how my fiance has reacted. I didn't need to push him; he made that decision himself.

I also know she's been stalking my social media, which is likely how she found out we're engaged.

This isn't about winning. There is no competition. But after over a year of her trying to turn up in our lives, I am losing my patience with her a little.

It’s clearly not you, you’re coming across as quite jealous and insecure. Jumping to assume it’s you and putting out some weird threat.

😂 The OP is trying to use a flimsy excuse to contact her ex, who has shown no interest in a year and is engaged to another woman. She admits that she still hasn't moved on. I'm not the issue here.

Well sure, but one doesn’t absolve the other,

The next village? Your outrage suggests the ex is returning from the other side of the world to haunt you.

@Jasnah - you probably aren’t the fiancee. The story is quite common. Plenty of people are finished with for someone else with whom their ex goes on to quickly settle down (similar happened to me when i was young). I know a number of others it has happened to. OP has said she has observed the NC and there are many ways to hear this kind of news. However, you do sound like you’re crowing and you’ve posted on very flimsy evidence to suggest that OP has been troublesome and intrusive. As a woman for whom another woman was left, your original post is insensitive and your intention in posting was unkind.

I don’t think it’s a ‘flimsy’ excuse, it is an actual life event which I have asked others for advice on. You sound super controlling and very threatened by the ‘Ex’.
Amd to point out the obvious - We’ve all been ‘Ex’s’ you’re not any better as you so proclaimed to be.
Being an ‘ex’ doesn’t make you any less.

I would stay very, very well out of it. There's no benefit to you in messaging him, is there? Most probably you'll end up on tenterhooks waiting for a reply since you still have feelings for him, and either be gutted he ignored you or try and read something into whatever he says back.

To be fair I think it is a flimsy and rather transparent excuse, but the poster is clearly deeply threatened by her partners ex, to firstly worry it’s about her and secondly to post a threat basically, as that’s what it was, and also odd things like coming from the next village over,

Best not message him OP, you can send him silent good wishes and prepare for the next chapter of your own life. X

Don't message him OP.

Use this as the push to close the door on thoughts of him. You can even visualise wishing him well and closing the door, and start moving forward yourself. 💐