Ghosted after 4 hour first date

[purplexrain]

I had a first date on Saturday with a guy I matched with on an app.

We met at a pub, pretty standard for my first dates. He doesn't drink so I drank much less than usual (half pint and soft drinks), initially worried it’d be more awkward without relying on drinking to relax but I thought we hit it off really well, easiest person I’ve spoken to in a while. Conversation felt so natural and just fun? We both had random niche things in common too. Whole date lasted around 4 hours, I was the first to mention having to leave to grab something before the supermarket closed. He then mentioned he’d join me as he also needed to pop in which I was fine with, we were still happily chatting and joking around in the shop too

At the end he hugged me and kissed my cheek, said he had a lovely time. I then asked if he wanted to exchange numbers but also said “there’s no pressure though” but he happily agreed.

He messaged first (on the app) about 10 mins after leaving to say it was really nice to meet me and thanked me for the evening. Then mentioned he accidentally didn’t save my number properly so gave me his number instead.

I messaged back an hour later to say it was really nice too, enjoy xyz activity (mentioned on our date). Aaaand now radio silence

Am I delusional for getting my hopes up? Is it normal for people to stay for this long on first date if not interested

Did you message back on the app or the number he gave you?

The date was Saturday, you exchanged messages afterwards, it's now Tuesday - I don't think you've been ghosted yet!

I wonder if he is one of those men who like to test women to see if she will chase a man who accidentally on purpose lost her number. Bit suss. Be careful.

Perhaps he's having another first date.

There could be a trillion reasons why he hasn’t messaged back- chatting with someone else, family emergency, wrong number given my accident, realised he doesn’t want to date, decided he actually wasn’t feeling it with you, feels unwell, wasn’t entirely sure you liked him back.
if you really like they guy I’d give it to tomorrow then drop him a quick message checking in. I know we’re all meant to block everyone and not care but you just never know. Have low expectations and if he does reply then keep an eye out for other signs he’s messing you about

Ignore him.

It's been 4 hours, chill.

The date lasted four hours.

It was on Saturday.

He’s married or something. He wants to keep it on the app. Don’t chase him.

It’s been 3 days and I haven’t reached out to him since. I don’t think he’s interested but I’m just disappointed after a 4 hour date which I thought went well

Personally it’s rare my first dates last that long. Even the shorter and mundane first dates I’ve had still led to a second date

I’d say to stay 4 hours if you didn’t like someone, would be unusual. So, he liked you.

but the ‘didn’t save my number properly’ coupled with not responding for 3 days is not in keeping with someone who liked you and is available to date.

so, either he had another date with someone on the Sunday who he liked more, or he’s already in a relationship and had 4 hours spare.

He’s just not that into you. Move on!

Oh my bad sorry op!

I think you’re worth more than a guy who doesn’t text you back after a first date, within the first 24 hours.

So even if he does come back now, I wouldn’t give him the time of day. Your actions show people your worth.

When you find the right one, he’ll be falling over himself to text you back and thank you for the lovely date. That’s the one you deserve.

I’d block and move on. Not worth dwelling on if he can’t even be arsed to reply to you.

He's just not that into you. Lots of people can enjoy 4 hours with someone they meet or give good date, but don't want to take things further. Unfortunately in 2026 a lot of people are fairly socially casual and flaky so he doesn't feel he owes you an explanation. He probably wanted the ego boost of exchanging phone numbers if you came across well but isn't into you socially/romantically enough to really stay in touch 1-1. Just block him and move on.

I think he enjoyed your company enough to stay 4 hours with you, but the clues he may not be into you romantically is that you asked for his number and he replied there’s no pressure though, then passing it off as accidentally didn’t save your number but here’s mine, meaning he’s not bothered about reaching out first and he still hasn’t, Sometimes people will reach out days/weeks later but not someone that’s seriously wanting to build a connection with you. It’s just a first date, I know it’s hard not to take it personally, but you hardly know each other, there will be times when you go on a date with someone nice but not enough for a second date.

I do think people - women do it often on here - can make a mistake with first dates though. All you can find out about someone on a first date is if they’re good initial company. And many many people are. But that doesn’t mean they’re good people, or even single. Then, and especially if you’re not personally good at that bit, you make the mistake in thinking it’s the best ever and you were brilliant together. When actually it’s nothing to do with you, they chat like that to everyone.

You can never know what's going through another person's mind, they might be starting to see someone else, not properly single, dithering, keen then not keen, you remind them of their sister, you can't know why someone doesn't want to take it further.

What you do know about this guy is though that he's not a good catch right now, he's not a good consistent communicator and even if he turns up now, it's rude not to reply to someone. The only weird thing would be if you texted the wrong number, but presumably he can still get hold of you on the app.

Who knows what's going on in his head? I think he liked you in those four hours, wanted the option to move forward, but has now declined it for reasons you won't understand ever.

Onwards and upwards, OP.

The whole situation is a bit odd. Why bother sending you his number if he was just going to ghost you? He could easily have just never messaged you in the first place.

I’d be tempted to just propose another date and what response you get from there, if any, will make things crystal clear.

Is that a thing?? Ahahhaa what??

Message him on the app to check his number.. maybe he wrote it down wrong.. I can't imagine he would give you his number if intending to ghost you(!) - he could be ill / have been taken to hospital. Just message on the app to confirm you sent the message and move on for now.

the clues he may not be into you romantically is that you asked for his number and he replied there’s no pressure though,

It was the op who added “there’s no pressure though” after she asked for his number.

This is what I would do, I did give my husband the wrong number when I was flustered on our first meeting and he had to move heaven and earth to get the right one. It was a Sliding Doors moment. Then you can move on knowing you did your best and start arranging another nice date.

Sorry just to clarify he msged me on the app, I reply to him on the app and then also send a msg on WhatsApp. It’s the correct number because can see his WhatsApp profile picture

I get you - just move on and if he comes back, ask what happened and decide if you want to give him another chance.