Ghosted after 4 hour first date

[purplexrain]

I had a first date on Saturday with a guy I matched with on an app.

We met at a pub, pretty standard for my first dates. He doesn't drink so I drank much less than usual (half pint and soft drinks), initially worried it’d be more awkward without relying on drinking to relax but I thought we hit it off really well, easiest person I’ve spoken to in a while. Conversation felt so natural and just fun? We both had random niche things in common too. Whole date lasted around 4 hours, I was the first to mention having to leave to grab something before the supermarket closed. He then mentioned he’d join me as he also needed to pop in which I was fine with, we were still happily chatting and joking around in the shop too

At the end he hugged me and kissed my cheek, said he had a lovely time. I then asked if he wanted to exchange numbers but also said “there’s no pressure though” but he happily agreed.

He messaged first (on the app) about 10 mins after leaving to say it was really nice to meet me and thanked me for the evening. Then mentioned he accidentally didn’t save my number properly so gave me his number instead.

I messaged back an hour later to say it was really nice too, enjoy xyz activity (mentioned on our date). Aaaand now radio silence

Am I delusional for getting my hopes up? Is it normal for people to stay for this long on first date if not interested

In that case, just ignore and move on, block if you feel like it, I always used to block after a week just to remove their pictures from Whatsapp and help me move on.

Sounds like he liked you but the romantic connection wasn’t there for him.

Delete him off your WhatsApp so you don’t have to see him.

Dating is hard. 💐

I’d message to say ‘a bit disappointed to not hear back from you, but I think the moment has passed. All the best.’

dont do this

If he was messaging you he’d lost your number then he had your number?! … try one more text then forget

What would this accomplish?!

You really have to emotionally detach yourself from the first few dates in online dating. These men are absolute strangers, you have no idea what else they are getting up to, what their agenda is.

Let him do the chasing and have other dates in the meantime. The right man will make ig clear he likes you.

Either he is ghosting you or is trying to add you to his busy dating roster and putting you on the backburner for now. Either way it’s not great.

I think it’s more the latter - he probably hasn’t ghosted you exactly but his attention is elsewhere. He will be in contact when it suits him.

A guy did that to me after we spent days together in his city, then a week or so later disappeared for 2 MONTHS!

When he messaged me almost two months later, I obviously just ignored him and then later blocked.

I’d give someone a week maximum.

I would message and say I really hope you are ok. All the best.
Then I would leave it there. I wouldn't block just yet in case there's a legitimate reason.

I personally wouldn't message him again. But just to say, men can sometimes be absolute rubbish at stuff like this. I went on a second date with my now DH, had a snog then there was radio silence for 3 days before he called me again! He still can't really explain what the hell he was thinking but we've been happily together 20+ years now. It's up to you if you'd give him another go if he contacts you, but I wouldn't be chasing him.

Did your message invite a response? It sounds like you wrote a ‘I had a nice time too’ with no inclination to start a back and forth. He’d already said he had a nice time. I hate everyday texting with someone I’ve met once. He may reply when he knows he’s free to next set up a date. He could just be busy. He may not want to fall into an everyday texting situation (I wouldn’t). I’d message asking if he was free for a date on X day and if you don’t get a response you’ll know he isn’t interested.

Don't do this. He's not interested although I suspect he came with you to the supermarket to see if he would get an invite for coffee.

Who knows why they would do this 🤷‍♀️ I say this as someone who was recently ghosted by a man I’ve known for years. We recently reconnected, had a lovely evening and he disappeared a few days before we due to meet again. It’s admittedly a bit sore on the old ego, but the vast majority of men are flakey so it isn’t entirely surprising. I think we can try and apply logic and figure it out all we like but it won’t ever sense, meanwhile men as a whole couldn’t care less 😅 as for the guy I would unmatch him.

I don’t think 3 days is a big deal really, especially as you didn’t even have each other’s numbers before this. You have no idea of his texting style or how much he uses his phone.

When I was OLD I never gave a monkeys about “rules” eg double messaging etc. I would just message him and ask if he wants to meet up again as I assume you liked him and then you will know.

It’s only been a few days?