How important is texting chemistry?

[datingchemistry]

I am 36 years old. Dating with intension, want to settle down and start a family. So I am picky, but because I'm looking for my forever person.

I have found online dating really difficult, it's been rare that I've met anyone I really like, and when I have, it's ended after a few months because of them. I am not attracted to the majority of the men I end up meeting, but like to give dates a chance to see if the attraction can come. It rarely does.

I met a man last week who is 37. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw him, I definitely fancied him. There wasn't fireworks, but I did like his look and so far no major red flags.

But I have started to realise I don't like his texting style. It's hard to explain, but I don't feel we are connecting over text. He has made a few spelling/grammar mistakes and I find that icky, and it's consistent. One of the things I am attracted to is intelligence and I am finding he is coming across the opposite despite having a job in management.

Is texting chemistry important when dating someone? I do like to receive texts and find it a big part of communicating with your partner. So is it going to work when I am always getting the ick over the way he has spelt something, or put punctuation in the wrong places? I am just not particularly enjoying our texting conversations.

Should I... go on a second date and forget the texting thing, concentrating on him in person. Or, should I cut my losses, I am attracted to him, but the communication would bother me?

No I haven't. I was calling out the extreme view of the person, saying no one texts anymore, go and meet them in person. There was no mention of phone calls at all till someone else said it.

Here are some direct quotations of questions from you:

• How do you keep the interest and conversation going between dates?
• And even while dating, how do you have conversations with your partner?

You got an answer to those questions. Hope this helps.

No it doesn't. Could you make it clearer? Thank you 🙏🏻

No, it wouldn’t bother me but I am not a prolific text messenger. Probably an age thing as I’m not young. Other qualities are more important to me; kind, generous, funny, etc and pleasing on the eye of course.

To be honest I'd consider it a major red flag if someone were that bothered about "texting chemistry".

Seriously, you are prepared not to see someone you like, because you don't like the way he texts?
There will always be something about someone, nobody is perfect. Just don't communicate over text.

I wouldn't see it as a major problem but the fact that it annoys you probably means it will be a problem, unless you can get past it.

Not as annoying as writing "intension" instead of "intention" and using dozens of comma splices.

I'm picturing a heavily shorn sheep!

Thanks for teaching me, op, that ‘intension’ isn’t just a spelling mistake!

I think you should read about Burn the Haystack. You're giving men chances to prove you could come to like them, given enough time and with a charitable eye to their current offerings. Burn him. He's haystack.

Is texting chemistry important when dating someone... it's not even a thing, TBH, it's words!
I have AuDHD and use emojis and lots of ??!! etc and my spelling and grammar is shite, not because I am bread thick (I have a few degrees) but because I am trying to express myself, DH often sends my messages back with a WTF is this/that word.

If his spelling and grammatical errors are already giving you the ick then it’s only a short time until you start correcting them… and that won’t end happily. As you want children, you’ll presumably expect him to share in their education - do you want a man who won’t be able to pull his weight in this direction? This one would be a massive turn off for me personally.

I type fast and poorly. But thankfully I met DH before mobile phones were common and it was all about the physical chemistry and personality. Although my greataunt married a man after meeting him twice, but exchanging letters for 2 years, so I guess there are more kinds of chemistry.