Husband has a new found sex drive

[ImperialGoddess]

So, a couple months ago my husband started working out. He honestly has hated working out since we have been together but always had to stay in shape for his job. So he would work out in the minimal amount of time and effort to meet the standards for his job, and stop until they had to test him again. BTW he is phenomenal at his job so thats not an issue.

But I have always been a gym rat. I love working out and lifting heavy.

So to see my husband suddenly go to working out 5x's a week, 2 hours a day is..a bit of a change. We have a 5 year old special needs child and my husband said he's doing it for him. Okay, fair.

But now..he claims he has a higher sex drive. He is 39. I am 42 and perimenopausal, I am on HRT and my sex drive is very scarce.. which its been that way for a while. Which is naturally for a woman of my age to go through, right? Like there are stages of life...ugh, anyway.

A couple weeks ago my husband was complaining about how he now masturbates 2x a day and wants to know why I have no sex drive because he wants to have sex with me all the time. He has been very touchy feely, telling me how sexy and pretty I am, and likes to make note of his weight loss and how he is looking better and its so damn annoying. While I do appreciate his hard work in the gym, I did tell him he can't do it for just looking better or expecting me to "jump him" because he's getting more muscles because its not going to happen. I'm exhausted at the end of the day and sex is the last thing I want. He doesn't get it.

Like tonight was my night off after our son went down, I took a bath and my husband came in, took a shower, then came out in a towel and tried to kneel next to the tub to" watch my show with me"..like dude! I'm naked..I know what you're going to try..go away!

Does anyone else deal with this? We have been together 11 years and it's not like this man has been deprived. I just don't have the sex drive I had in my thirties, before I became a SAHM to a special needs child, taking care of the house, cars, animals, bills, finances, ect. While still working out and I recently started to work P/T too. Can anyone else relate? What do I do?

She says she is a ‘gym rat’ herself which strongly suggests she does have frequent time for herself at the gym …

Wow this blew up!

I'm pretty sure he does not take testosterone.

He had been taking Amino acids, creatine and upping his protein.

Yes, I work out. I utilize the kids place at our gym so I do work out in the morning, sometimes in the evening.

He sees his son when he gets home and generally takes over after work so I can do what I need (work, gym, training horses. Due to my son's needs I am a SAHM + have a job part time). He has been working out while at work. His work has an on base gym. Sometimes he works out on the weekends.

I have had sex drive issues since having my son. I did go through post partum depression which took a while to clear up. Had perimenopause symptoms happen since I was 39 and finally got HRT last year and it has been amazing. But those that say they have kids and still want to have sex? Not every woman is the same. Am I attracted to my husband? Yes, but my sex drive is very minimal. I usually want sex after my period and when I'm ovulating and then it fades. Its not like he's not getting any..Just not every day. I don't have the time or energy for that lol

I did speak to my husband and he said he'll back off and apologized.

Well, I did try to paint a small picture! Basically, instead of me wanking alone, DW, when too tired /otherwise disinclined for anything more, would simply lie next to me & tell me she liked seeing me do all the work. Basically, she offered verbal encouragement. And, sometimes, a helping hand. It was cosiness, intimacy but with minimal effort for whoever was tiredest - usually her. But at other times it worked the other way round. It was good because we felt the thread of our sex life hadn't been completely broken by young children & fatigue. It was quick, cosy "maintenance"!! Rolling over afterwards & going straight to sleep was absolutely allowed. I think it's a good way to manage an imbalance of sexual desire/energy at any time. Why blokes in particular insist on PIV as the only "proper" way of having sex, I don't know. When the going gets tough, take what you can get! And count yourself lucky.

😂

@ImperialGoddess in his 30s he is in his prime . Add extra exercise and his sex drive is through the roof . You have to meet at a middle ground .