Social interaction is dying quickly.

[sophiealbert92]

I work at a restaurant. Every day I see hundreds of people. All of them, sitting at a table with their phones in their face. Groups of 2, 4, 6. All of them. No talking. No interaction. Mindless scrolling. Even the older folk I see do this which is BIZARRE. Children, watching videos on their parents iPad. No coloring menus. What happened to that? I deliver food to their tables and they can hardly move their cellphones out of the way for me to set their plates down.
I know people on here are probably well aware of this reality but it crushes me and I need to talk about it. Something has got to change. Quick. What a sad existence devoid of human connection.
And yes. Not everybody is like this. It truly makes me happy to see a table of 8 people enjoying each others company, laughing, telling stories etc. The way humans have done for millennia. Yes. There are parents who don’t shove the electronics in their kids face. There is the old couple enjoying their vacation, drinking a beer, sat across from each other, holding hands. It gives me hope. We’re not all zombies. We need this connection. It’s still there. But how long until it’s not?
To think I once knew what it was to be a human. Enjoying the company of my friends and family, and living my life in the moment. How I wish I could turn the clocks back.

If I’m going somewhere interesting solo, like on holiday or a long country walk, my phone is mainly on airplane & just works as a clock or camera. I just check for messages every couple of hours or so.

It’s very liberating.

I'm a boomer - just! Built my own computer at 15. Studied IT at college early 80s, in IT support for 40 years. My parents were sooooo dismissive - why don't you get your head out of computers and into a book... we heard the same crap "growing up" with tech.

Self regulation gets REALLY easy as a boomer. I like my luxury... big screen on for entertainment, sound system for music. Mobile phone for when you are mobile.

I think it's variable, there are still plenty of people who like a chat. DH and I go to the Edinburgh Fringe on holiday every year, we always end up getting chatting to people while waiting to see shows. This year more people than ever struck up conversations with us. I agree it's a shame when people go out for nice meals and then spend them with their heads in their phones, though.

All of these people need more interesting/witty friends and partners. It is something DH and I never do if we are out. Nor do my friends ever do it when we're out for a meal or drinks. I'm middle aged and it doesn't seem as bad in my generation as for younger people. I scroll when I'm bored. That's it. It is just so desperately sad to see.

these are two completely different scenarios though!

I wouldn't expect people to be having cheerful chats in a doctor's surgery, whereas it would be the norm in a restaurant. Even if you went back 50 or 70 years ago I doubt most people in a doctor's surgery would have been linking arms and laughing uproariously with random unwell strangers, they'd have been reading the paper or just waiting quietly. Most people waiting at the doctor's are either feeling ill themselves or don't want to catch what anyone else has got!

OP's description of people ignoring each other in a restaurant doesn't match my experience of any restaurant I've ever been to. I agree social interaction has changed, and even that in some ways it's been detrimental, but these are odd examples to prove it.

She's absolutely right

And you're sadly lacking in judgement if you're using "Germaine Greer" as an insult.

She's also right.

Also add "answering the door"

My kids are banned from using phones at the dinner table, in the car, supermarket, restaurants or in a waiting room. It’s more because they’re so hooked they’re on it enough the rest of the time but I like that they chat, nod at people, notice things etc

edited to add they all said the game screens in McDonalds are sad because people should be there to chat and have fun, mad hearing it from a 14yo!!

How sad. Children learn so much about life and how to behave in the world by sitting to dinner with family and taking part in conversation.

Self regulation gets REALLY easy as a boomer. I like my luxury... big screen on for entertainment, sound system for music. Mobile phone for when you are mobile.

As a boomer I find it very easy to self-regulate around it precisely because I didn't grow up with it. It's not automatic to reach for my phone when I'm bored or to have my life on it.

I'm quite strict with my kids and phones, but when it comes to adults, I don't see why it bothers other people. If you see a couple in a cafe not talking, does it matter? Maybe they've been together many years and there just isn't much left to say. They don't have to put on a show for you (playing the part of in love older couple so you can enjoy people watching more). Why shouldn't they relax the way they want? Maybe it's two friends who are travelling together and spending 24/7 together. Maybe it's a brother and sister researching a nursing home for their parents, who knows. Does it matter?

Agreed @Petrine , what a strange statement. That person is trying to imply that phones are just so exciting, like as if they've only just come out and not been out for 20 years now. If anyone is getting excited by them it's the new generation, not people who've been around them for literal decades now. If anything they'll be the ones who still remember how life used to be before the mindless scrolling made up most of one's life.
Do better @HauntedBungalow

Ouch, someone hit a nerve.

The problem with that, it's all pretty one-sided isn't it? The wonders of having kids is all drowned out. Why would anyone assume something worth having would be easy?

Also, I'm not a boomer, but some young folks should be reminded that boomers created the technology in the first place... a bit of respect for your elders is lacking methinks.

Me and my friend went to a bar. It was a special music event so it was packed and an old couple offered half of their table to us as we had food and nowhere to sit.

Me and my friend were either chatting or sitting and listening to music, but had our phones away and filled silence with talk. The woman’s husband came to join her and he was on his phone the whole time. Even when she was trying to get his attention and when she did a quick “that’s my husband” introduction to explain why there are strangers in the table. He did even smile, or do a polite nod - he was just on his phone.

I do think there is a difference between phones and colouring for kids. I have young children and I will colour in with them and chat with them and we use resturant time as a no phone zone. The phone comes out for the younger one right at the end of he is restless and even then, we mark that as our cue to get the bill and the phone is just there so he doesn’t scream the place down whilst we go toilet etc. other than that, as a family we see it as our duty to interact with him at the resturant and make it an experience.

It’s sad really. And it’s just getting worse. And we are also generally worse at socialising with people.

Also to add it pisses me off when I’m sitting at a restaurant with my partner and he is on his phone. I honestly would rather we sat there and people watched or silently. As I find it rude. I tell him this too because he will randomly take out his phone and watch something or catch up on the news - and it gets on my nerves. Generally we can sit in each others company and we always have something random to talk about. So conversation isn’t the issue. Some people think it’s not rude, whilst some of us find it rude.

I'm really really tired of everything being blamed on "screens". And now declining birth rates? If someone is actually trying to suggest that women are so busy looking at their phones that they aren't getting married, having sex, and having children, then frankly, I despair.

Yes, there evidence to suggest that women are choosing to have fewer children (or none), often later in life as a direct result of decisions they are making about the cost/effort/risk etc and/or their expectations of what they want from life. And, in my opinion, in many cases, women are making decisions based on a far more informed understanding of what having children means, with far more autonomy and options than they have had before. This is a good thing.

I can't necessarily speak to the positives of having children not being well represented because this may be the case in some situations but it certainl yisn't what I'm seeing. I see lots and lots of content and information highlighting the importance and value eof having children. I am pleased that it's at least balanced by some additional content that highlights the challenges or downsides.

I can’t say I’ve seen anything like this, apart from children while adults have a meal (which is annoying). My children have certainly never stared at a screen during a restaurant meal.

I would say I have lots of real life social interaction. I see plenty of friends. Have hobbies where I socialise. We have a family dinner every night of the week (and no screens).

This in contrast to my childhood in the 80s 😂 I ate dinner alone on a tray in front of the tv my whole childhood. Except for Christmas or similar, I do not remember family dinners. It was me alone with a screen!

Its always been like that in a doctor's waiting room. There was just piles of magazines instead.

I agree with you OP !

Forgot to add the pic, couldn’t delete whole thing, couldn’t add image in editing..

We all need to read this book…

I don't have a smartphone, not interested in them at all, problem solved..

You aren’t wrong. I noticed a family out at the weekend for lunch at a garden centre - toddler plonked straight in front of Bluey on mum’s phone, no opportunity to even begin to learn the social skills of sitting around a table. It’s very sad!

Yeah this isn’t the same thing - a doctor’s waiting room is not the place for making conversation!

We were out for lunch today. There was a family at the table next to us, a youngish couple with a little girl age 3-4 and a very small baby. Mum and Dad sat on their phones and didn’t say a word. Mum was breastfeeding baby while scrolling. Eventually the little girl started crying, very obviously trying to get some attention from her parents. They just completely blanked her (and each other). It was incredibly sad.