Support thread for those dealing with intolerant or racist parents

[afishcalledpanda]

A welcoming thread to support those struggling with seeing their loved ones becoming angry and intolerant and hyperfocussed on racist or intolerant viewpoints. (Edit: I should have said "loved ones" in the thread title: it's not just parents who behave this way!!)

Following on from another thread, seems like a lot of us are in the same boat: seeing our parents changing to be completely different from the parents (or other loved ones) we once knew, turning toward racist or intolerant viewpoints, and/or insular and unhappy and over-focussed on negative news or views, to the point where having a chat on the phone or spending time with them can be incredibly difficult.

This thread is not for those who want to use this as an opportunity to spread their own propaganda, nor those who want to challenge or wind up those participating, or spread intolerant views of their own. Please feel free to go start your own thread if that's your agenda. Thank you!

To those who want to join: feel free to let off steam, post your coping strategies, chat away, ask questions or share resources or just random ramblings! :)

Let's see how inclusive and tolerant you are when a property is converted to a HMO near your home or kids school.

This is literally in the OP:

'This thread is not for those who want to use this as an opportunity to spread their own propaganda, nor those who want to challenge or wind up those participating, or spread intolerant views of their own. Please feel free to go start your own thread if that's your agenda. Thank you!'

So why are you posting this here on this thread?

There are plenty of ways for people do be so obnoxious that you can't stand being around them so I guess I'd just start with that.

There are a range of things you can do about it, from just tuning them out, to giving them a little pushback and see if they take a hint, to having a discussion with them about how you don't want to hear it, to cutting back contact with them, to cutting all contact with them.

I'm in the US and have cut a few people off over their ignorant, offensive, repulsive rants. Some people say it's just politics or just their opinion or whatever but I'd say it's them showing you who they are and everything isn't acceptable or tolerable, to me. It's gotten absolutely insane here.

Something I've notice unfortunately, is that whenever I start feeling the need to start taking the progressive steps I listed above, it has always ended with completely cutting that person off. Of course close relatives and close friends get more leeway than most, but there are still limits as to what kind of nastiness I'll sit there and listen to.

Anyway, it makes me think that some people are so entrenched in whatever their problem is that they just are not going to stop putting it in your face no matter what you do.

But it's any help, you might want to come up with a list of progressively strong ways to respond and see which level is what you are able to put up with. Best wishes.

I’ve said - twice now - that my parents aren’t simply concerned about immigration or inadvertently choosing out of date language. They’re out-and-out racist. I’m not going to type out the things they say. Partly because they’re disgusting and partly because my post would rightly get deleted (and I might get banned). I came here for support. You’re not being supportive. So please just fuck off.