Support thread for those dealing with intolerant or racist parents

[afishcalledpanda]

A welcoming thread to support those struggling with seeing their loved ones becoming angry and intolerant and hyperfocussed on racist or intolerant viewpoints. (Edit: I should have said "loved ones" in the thread title: it's not just parents who behave this way!!)

Following on from another thread, seems like a lot of us are in the same boat: seeing our parents changing to be completely different from the parents (or other loved ones) we once knew, turning toward racist or intolerant viewpoints, and/or insular and unhappy and over-focussed on negative news or views, to the point where having a chat on the phone or spending time with them can be incredibly difficult.

This thread is not for those who want to use this as an opportunity to spread their own propaganda, nor those who want to challenge or wind up those participating, or spread intolerant views of their own. Please feel free to go start your own thread if that's your agenda. Thank you!

To those who want to join: feel free to let off steam, post your coping strategies, chat away, ask questions or share resources or just random ramblings! :)

So I presume that it must be the impact of some sort of cognitive decline?

reminds me of an article was reading a while back about how reliably racism turns up in NPD so that there’s discussion about if it should be one of the diagnostic criteria

I do not need to be told to fuck off thank you .

I am asking if op has sat down and told them it is unacceptable language today ?
This thread is not about you and your friends . The op has not given the reason / actions / words / behaviours they have , my comment was suggesting they should inform themselves / she informs them that they are wrong to have those opinions .
Her parents ( who you are basically calling brain dead imbeciles with one foot in the grave ) need educating.

Your post was ageist and offensive. It's incredibly patronising - and just plain wrong - to suggest that people over 65 don't know what racism is or why it isn't acceptable.

What's your excuse for younger racists?

The 70 yos of today grew up in the thick of the civil rights movement. They invented Rock Against Racism and the Anit Nazi League. They voted for all the anti-discrimination legislation.

There have always been racists in every generation. The current vile balaclava wearers are not elderly.

The recent Bob Dylan film was a nice reminder boomers invented the sort of politics young people base their identity on.

OP, your reference to parents in the thread title has acted as a lightening rod for ageism.

I am sick of O-65s being dismissed as generationally racist because it is factually inaccurate.

What we are currently seeing is a horrifying rise of dangerous violent racism in the U 40s. Someone’s Nan saying coloured is not the danger here.

Ok for some reason I'm being called out on the age 65 + comment . I feel it's uncalled for . I picked that age as I didn't want to suggest ops parents were very elderly therefore more than likely she was older herself ( I'm saying she but could be a male , we don't know . So look at it another way I'm not being ageist or sexist and guess what .......... I will be 66 next birthday ! ! !
I can remember words were used by many people in the 60s that could not be used now fatty , four eyes , baldy etc etc that are just not acceptable today . The age range was because of my own memories of that terrible time . Her parents lived through that age be them 60 or 100 .

This is offensive ageist nonsense. People who are 65 now were born in the 1960s and don't need telling that 'coloured' is an offensive term by smug younger adults.

It was those who were teenagers/young adults in the 60s (so even older than you suggest) who marched against and challenged racial segregation. Do you know anything about the civil rights movement? I suspect not.

I give up ! Poor op has had her thread derailed by people who want to jump down someones throat for having an opinion . Enjoy your day .

Ageism is rife on MN and if you are going to make discriminatory posts on here, which yours was, they deserve to be challenged.

Her parents may indeed have lived through an age when racism was more common. (Though personally, I think it has sadly become far more socially acceptable to be racist now than it was when I was growing up, so that's a moot point.)

But they would have also lived through the age of the Bristol Bus Boycott, the passing of the Race Relations Act, Rock Against Racism etc.

Suggesting that older people don't know what racism is or why it is wrong does a huge disservice to the millions of over-65s who actively campaigned against it.

Everyone alive today has had plenty of time to learn. Age is not an excuse.

You have to accept that people are entitled to hold an opinion that you may disagree with
Nor are you entitled to tell other what they have to think or say - that is like George Orwell's 1984 -it is what happens in China and the middle eat it is what happened in Nazi Germany - that in itself extremely right wing and intolerant of others
Personally I have friends and family who are communist to extremely right wing
Our political opinion so not define our friendships or love for each other
We have interests in common and have been there for each other during hard times - that is what is more important to me/us

She is not respectful of her parents opinions

Are you defending people's right to be racist, or have I misunderstood your point?

Jeez, every time one of these threads is started it gets taken over by those wanting to push back and promote their own racist / intolerant agenda.

To everyone: please ignore those people saying "this doesn't happen", or "their views aren't racist" or "why don't you respect your racist / intolerant parents" FFS.

This thread was NOT started for them but to support those who ARE struggling with coping with their racist / intolerant family members.

"This thread is not for those who want to use this as an opportunity to spread their own propaganda, nor those who want to challenge or wind up those participating, or spread intolerant views of their own. Please feel free to go start your own thread if that's your agenda. Thank you!"

Some "opinions" are not worthy of respect.

‘people are entitled to their opinions’ is often code for people saying hateful things. i’ve never had to say ‘i’m entitled to my opinion’ because i can bloody well explain it clearly and concisely :)

It's neither racist nor intolerant (quite the opposite) to call out other forms of discrimination. There's more than one protected characteristic you know.

I wasn't referring to your post about ageism. I was referring to those using this to deny racism or spread their own racist / intolerant view points.

That’s an odd response from your relative.

"this doesn't happen",

it’s staggering but i shouldn’t be surprised because we’ve all had that awful human experience of people feeling uncomfortable with hearing our truth yet being perfectly comfortable telling us they don’t believe us.

Well you will be old one day"

i’d point out the millions upon millions of non racist old people. and millions upon millions of racist ‘non-old’ people.

Fine. I do hope you will call out the ageism on this thread then.

Why the hostility? Because you misunderstood my post and are embarrassed?

And you've already done that. FWIW I agree with you.