What would you choose? Major broken heart, or regret that you never tried?

[Ihaveregrets]

N/C but long time user.

Would you rather have had a (potentially brief but amazing) relationship with someone you were mad about, followed by a guaranteed utterly heartbreaking split?

Or regret that you never tried 25 plus years later when you reconnect, but it's just not possible now?

If it's the latter, how do you cope with that?

You'll never get those years back, and I'm struggling with the reality of that tbh. I always thought the heartbreak would have been worse but would it really have been?

It's kind of pointless now because I can't change anything, but I need to talk about it anyway.

Thanks . I am fine. I have a good life and a good husband and family. I did feel like I was sucker punched when I found out about his death. I don't know if I thought having the 'possibility' of him out there made it easier to live with the regret. With him gone forever that idea can't exist.

Naturally, I have no idea what what would have happened with us and our relationship didn't have to endure normal boring life. So I try to focus on that. I think the bigger regret really is the person I was back then. Or more of a sadness. I never could beleive that anyone would like me. I lived in fear and my life was a bit of a mess for a long time. I am sad for me and wish to god I'd got some help. I genuinely thought this guy didn't really like me enough and felt sorry for me. I was so in love with him.

i am considering deleting his facebook legacy page to stop me thinking about him. I still have little notes and things he gave me hidden away somewhere. I feel terrible that I carry this torch. I love my husband, I really do. But the other guy will forever be unresolved. I've made it my mission now NOT to avoid things. I honestly think it's better to know.

@TaraRhu I totally understand all of that. I feel the same about the person I was then, too.

Your last paragraph reflects how I feel also. 😌

I'm glad you're ok but sending you big hugs anyway!

Decided to make a go of it with the one who may well break my heart. Four and a bit months in he's just worked out that he loves me and things are accelerating. I was never going to put myself into this position again... but here we are. I did think about stopping before I got hurt, but you get one shot at this life.

Good luck @sofffty I really hope it continues to work out well. Shipping you big time!

Also, how brave you are! Do you mind me asking (roughly) how old you are, or at what stage of life you're in?