Why is he always talking about teenagers?

[Elviva]

Been dating for ten months. Both mid fifties and divorced for some years and both with adult children in their twenties.

Earlier today we popped into a local pub for a bite to eat. I'd just had minor surgery and was feeling huge relief and fancied a wee tipple as well. It was a busy Wetherspoons, Friday afternoon, loads of students and young people. The minute we sat down he could not take his eyes off four young women right in his line of vision. He commented as I noticed him staring, "oh look how she's almost wearing nothing, the top, it's backless, got no back at all" Then looking and looking. I looked around and four very pretty young girls sitting having fun. Yes a backless top. They all looked barely a day over 18. He then said "They look sooooo young. Like children... "

He stared and stared. Not long after they left. I only hope not because of him.

Then he said... "What shall we talk about then.... " He looked very embarrassed as I said nothing. I felt very uncomfortable.

A couple of weeks back we were out in a cafe and a group of girls came in, around 16 to 17 if not a bit younger at a guess. He stared and stared and said "Look at those teenage girls. I can watch exactly what's going on from where I'm sitting"

A few other times he has commented on teen clothing and how tight it is and done the staring thing.

Am I reading too much OK into this?

Dump him.

This kind of carry is ingrained. It's who he is. You can't change him.

Report to police? 🤣 for being a dirty old man? Sorry, that’s not illegal. But dump him, of course.

I'm sorry that happened to you OP.

Not only is he a dirty old man, he was drooling over young women in front of you. He's creepy and shows you zero respect.

You deserve so much better. Nobody wants to be the woman people feel sorry for because their other half is such a shameless old perv.

Get rid of this one.

He’s disgusting and you need to leave him.

I can't believe you need to ask.

He's obviously a dirty pervert. Dump him, for god's sake.

He's got to a place in your relationship where he feels comfortable to say these things. He's testing the waters. Big red flag.🚩. Dump him.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
No respect for you
No respect for the girls
Creepy bastard vibe
LEAVE and REPORT!

hes Not just leering at adult women, he is specifically (and extensively by the sound of it) focusing on underage or young looking girls. This is what he feels safe saying and doing directly in front of his partner. You do have to wonder what he might do when alone or online.

Your post made my skin crawl.

Why are you with this creep?

He’s gross - run.

Gross. I’m not surprised though, so many men are like this. I have a very pretty teenage daughter and I’m always amazed and disgusted at how many fully grown men stare at her when we are out together. They are not even subtle about it, even when I’m there. Most old enough to be her dad. Not that it matters, but she’s not even in skimpy clothing, just regular day clothes. It’s vile. They beep their horns and shout stuff out there var windows and just generally act as creeps. She’s 16 and looks it so they can clearly see she’s a teenager. Her friends get similar treatment too.

I would run 100 miles from a man who so openly stares at and comments on young girls like the OP describes. Makes my skin crawl. Wonder what his internet search history looks like.

He's not even trying to hide it. He's putting out the feelers to see how you'd react. He needs his hard drive checking!

He's a disgusting creep that you need to be rid of. Show him that that stuff is not to be tolerated.

But calling the police? The police can't just come round with a search warrant and check his computer just because someone said he may be dodgy.

Women and girls who have been sexually assaulted and/or raped have trouble getting the police to investigate, and will be more of a struggle to get police attention if people keep on reporting people for comments said in a pub.

I don’t think I’d waste any more of my time on him if dates consist of him staring at other women and actually commenting to you about them. Wonder how he’d feel if you sat there ogling other (young) blokes.

Dump him @Elviva

Why are you trying to convince yourself it’s something other than you know. No one should be so desperate to be with a man they will sit and watch them perv on teenagers and even comment on them, and just ignore it.

that’s a very low bar indeed and you need to think about why you are behaving like this, you know why he is,

You have to ask? Why is your bar so low? Are you desperate for a reason?

Yeah. It’s all the fault of porn, not he’s that way inclined.

The fact that you’ve posted should give you your answer.

I'd be really put off by that.

He's clearly fascinated by teenage girls and that wouldn't sit well with me at all. Gross.

Does he have sons or daughters?

Agree hence the non return to address any questions

I'm so sorry, OP. This is grim.

You are absolutely not reading too much into this. Tell him you don't want to see him again.

I don't know if the police would be able to do anything in this scenario but, in your shoes, I would absolutely want to tell someone just in case it could prevent a young girl from coming to any harm.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

The thing is, the police might be in possession of other information that the OP doesn't know about. This could potentially help them to join the dots.

I don't think that the police can do anything about a man leering at young girls, but I don't see that there would be any harm in flagging it with them anyway. Just in case.