I'm having an affair with my husbands' best friend

[Lulubear26]

l, 47F and my OH 54M have been together for 30 years we have 2 DD aged 15 and 18.
4 months ago his friends came over for a night out for his birthday. We all got really drunk and everyone else went to bed except me and his friend G, hes also 53M married with 2 kids. We ended up kissing etc and it pretty steamy, we didnt have sex but pretty much did everything else. Me and G and have flirted for years, even used to have cheeky snog when we were really young.
The next day I messaged G and we decided to try and have an affair. 2 days after that my husband announces to me that he'd seen us together, not stopped it and went back to bed, twice! His reaction really unnerved me, we went to some couples counselling but I think I'd already decided that the marriage was over not just cos of the friend but lots of other reasons around being bored and stale and wanting some independence. I didnt keep seeing the friend out of respect for the break up, even though I really wanted to. Fast forward 3 months, and I have rented my own house, moved out and we are co-parenting the kids with view to sell up next year. The whole process has been amicable so far, however ex Husband did say he does not want me to see G again.
2 days after I moved in my house I contacted G, we immediately stepped back into sexting and we met at a hotel. Since then its been more messaging but things are getting very close, he said his marrige is pretty much over, im worried im getting too close to him, I dont know whether to just back away before I get more involved, we have arranged another hotel next week and I so excited to see him. We live 4 hours away from each other.
What would you do next?

Do you not know how seedy this all sounds 🤮

The sex is thrilling. That’s it really…

Does it not concern you that you are lying to your own partners.?

What's with this whole spate of threads lately with OP's quite proudly coming on with takes of having affairs with married men just because they can?
Why start a thread on MN? Surely can't because they expect or deserve sympathy.

Even if your lover dumps his wife, jumping into having sex with you isn't going to end up in a lovely, honest, fulfilling relationship.

He'll want to be out having sex with whoever will have him, healing from his divorce. Not fit for a relationship, and obviously untrustworthy.

Finding a man to have sex with is the easiest thing on earth. Pick one that doesn't involve traumatising another woman.

Having been G’s wife in this situation, I wonder if she knows her marriage is ‘pretty much over’. Men lie. Don’t be the OW. If they split, maybe see where it goes but stay out of it now.

Wait till G actually is single, not when he’s doing the cheating man thing of telling you it’s ’as Good as over’ so you’ll shag him.

You are single. You don’t need a pseudo relationship and that’s all an affair is. Find another single man. Do you really want the headfuck of a man who goes home to his real life with his wife, leaving you alone after each visit? Do you really want to be waiting for him to finally end it ( which he may never do).

You may well not G’s first affair nor his last.

Get some self respect, get a real relationship with a single man, or enjoy time by yourself. But do not do this.

I think the husband has taken this opportunity to get rid of his wife because she is cheating Win win for him

1/10 try harder.

This is fake. No one with an ounce of dignity and compassion could write this.

I think you’re bored and lonely and this make believe thread was your way of injecting some excitement in to your life.

Now you’re back in front of day time TV

I think self respect is an alien term in this case.

Sounds like yourself and G gave your husband an easy out of a relationship he didn’t want to be in either. As you’re now single you can technically do what you want with G, but I can imagine it would negatively impact your children if they were aware of you having a relationship with their dad’s friend. I’d therefore prioritise them and do some work on what needs you were trying to get met when you threw a bomb in to their family.

"AgnesX · Today 08:42
DozyCrow · Today 07:59
So many threads about affairs recently. I wonder if there's a writing group who target Mumsnet and this months subject, to see who can get the most engagement, is 'affairs'.
I was thinking the same. Three in the last 12 hours. Creative writing for the digital era 🙄"

I think you're right, especially given the unnecessary level of detail in this and the AMA (who as far as I can see has not replied to any of the questions). These posters are after their own thrills.

eeeveryone went to bed but the two of us, and one thing led to another. Predictable and overdone. When you come up with some ragebait, at least try to be original.

You are both gross in every way 🤢

I suspect you're right.

This one ranks a 2/10. Poor effort.

I think they tag team it between inheritance, blended families and affairs.
extra points for all 3.

I agree. Who ends their 30 year marriage with children because it's 'a bit stale and they want their independence'?
It sounds like its been written by someone who has never had a longterm relationship let alone children to consider.

Your amicable divorce will become very ugly if this gets out and he knows it!

Do you not think that someone in a writing group would actually be able to write?

The Op is in her darkened room watching TB with no plans on the horizon. I doubt that there’s a partner let alone an affair

It’s always so much fun until it isn’t. Hope the geezer is worth chucking a grenade into so many lives but I suspect he isn’t. They rarely are.

Do you want us to cheer you on for being a total arsehole of a person?

OK...well done yayyy

Your marriage was over and you ended it and moved out. Your EXH best friend is still married and with his wife "all but over" isnt over. This should be a key factor. If you embark on a sexual relationship with a married man who is still in his marriage it will end in nothing but pain.