Husband giving me the silent treatment after daughters argued at home

[Concernedfrustrated22]

My 2 daughters had an argument while I was out babysitting our grandkids
my husband was home
He rang me and I missed the call as I was bathing the baby
He rang my other daughter (who I was babysitting for) and told her to tell me to get home and sort the other 2 daughters out then he hung up before she could tell him she wasn’t back home yet
she rang and told me so I rang him and asked what happened he said get home and see and hung up on me
I couldn’t go straight home because I was babysitting
he hasn’t spoken to me since (3 days)
its only 2 weeks since the last time he stopped talking to me
(it’s a regular occurrence)
many advice please

That’s abusive behaviour. He will always punish you like this, if you let him.

My main advice would be, organise yourself to leave him.
Secondary advice, make it very very clear that his silence doesn’t hurt or inconvenience you. Do not try and get him to talk to you. Find good things to do with other people and continue as though he’s invisible as well as silent.

He sounds pathetic and ridiculous. How easy would it be for you to leave him?

It would be difficult to leave
I don’t work and he isn’t well

Time to divorce Sulky Simon.

Agree that while you are planning to lwave him just ignore him. Act like you don't even notice he is silking. Turn up the radio, put nice music on and sing softly to yourself as you do your chores. Go and meet a friend for coffee ..you get the picture. See a solictor too.

So he wanted you to leave your minor grandchildren, including a baby, home alone to come and resolve an argument between your two adult (I assume) daughters?

Well enough to have a go at you though.

I'd start to look hard at my options. What have you got to lose.

I would enjoy the peace and quiet 🤫

It maybe be hard to leave... but you must.

Oh op ' the silent treatment ' so your babysitting you GC so obviously busy, h called for you to get home to sort out the two DD, but hay you couldn't,

Op please please do not be cooking or doing anything for him while he is giving you the silent treatment,

You stand your ground op, don't explain, let him sulk,

Just act like you haven’t noticed and get on with your life . He sounds like a giant baby

The “he isn’t well” bit is utterly irrelevant.

He sounds so nasty. To you and your daughters. Why would you want to be with a man like that.

What are the other circumstances in which he stops talking to you?

Is it always when you do something that isn't directly benefiting him?

This sounds like a mixture of deliberate sabotage of your plans (because surely to goodness an adult man can cope with overhearing an argument) and deliberate sabotage of your relationships.

Time to get a job, move out and divorce him.

He can’t even parent his own kids? So calls you, makes demands and then ignores you for days? I’m sure that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

You’re an adult. You are capable. You do not need to stay with him. Just go. Get back into work, earn your own money, claim UC, get out. His health is nothing to do with you anymore.

My nature is to look after others
I have always been the same
i feel guilty if I even act selfishly and put myself first
27 yrs in to a marriage I just think is it worth the hassle leaving?
in recent years I have stopped responding to his moods I just carry on with my days and ignore him
I still make his meals cuppa’s etc
I think I have just got to the point where I can’t take it anymore
I put my name on a housing list 3 weeks ago (the last time he went silent) but then we found out his copd I has deteriorated and now I feel guilty again

The ironing of it is he’s fine with the daughters it’s me he’s ignoring

Why do you make his meal and bring him drinks? Does he do it for you?

Do you think your daughters don’t know what’s going on? Don’t hate living in this atmosphere? They do.

Because he gets so breathless when he walks around even just going to the bathroom so I feel like I have to because he’s got diabetes

What do your daughters think of him?

If he ignores you and you're not going to leave then for goodness sake stop doing anything for him while you are being ignored. You're making yourself a doormat. He doesn't deserve your sympathy. He sounds like a horrible bully.

Tell him to fuck off

I can’t stand sulking adults

What’s he doing to improve his health? Sorry but I’m very low on empathy now I’m menopausal. I just couldn’t be arsed with this. It’d be time for a come to Jesus chat and an exit plan.

Are you physically safe? Because if not, that’s a different matter.

If so, calmly tell him you are not willing to spend your remaining years with a man that takes his unhappiness out on you.

Tell him you will leave if things don’t change. Tell your daughters as well. “I’m unhappy and I’m going to leave if he doesn’t change.”

I would push for counseling. He’s a child and used to treating you like this and getting away with it. It’s time to make him realize that you’ll no longer tolerate it.

Do not continue doing what you’ve done in the past; it’s not working.

Then he shouldn't bite the hand that feeds him.

If you're bothered, make him the same meal over and over. Something like beans on toast and water only until he stops abusing you.

You know you need to leave him though if you get the chance.