As title states, feeling like a total mug.
I met who seemed a fantastic, legit guy on a dating app and had one date where we chatted all evening, made out but no further intimacy. Lots of chemistry, but he seemed hesitant - I chalked this up to not rushing things, respect etc.
Fast forward to the following week, we met up and late into the evening did get very intimate. But alarm bells started ringing when I could hear his phone vibrating with missed calls, which led him to eventually take the call - but in a separate room far from earshot.
He could sense that I was curious and then asked me, "you know I'm trying out an open relationship with my girlfriend, right?"
It had been his gf on the phone and NO I did not know this - it was never mentioned anywhere. Not on his dating app, not in person. I had no proof.
I decided to not make a scene, but I instantly felt he was cheating and also upset that I had been lied to by ommission - especially after having just had sex. Before I had a chance to challenge him, he said his gf maybe wasn't feeling 100% comfortable with trying out an 'open relationship' anymore and maybe it would be best to leave things between us. I shrugged it off, assuming that was that, lesson learnt etc. Didn't actually know whether to believe him.
3 days later, he contacts me again with flirty messages... yes, I know I can block (although I have a fear of that, after a nasty experience with someone and a second phone), yes I can ignore him, no I wouldn't attempt to track down his gf - but I am just so angry he's assumed I bought this story about an open relationship and will probably gain the confidence to string along another person on a dating app again, for as long as he can, under the premise of 'open relationship'.
It's probably totally useless, but I can't decide whether to challenge him on this - not to pick a fight, but maybe just to rattle him a bit I.e. make it clear that women aren't buying the open relationship story and don't appreciate deception? Probably won't achieve anything...
Maybe best not to get involved further?
Ugh. Disappointing as he seemed so promising. I'm just a bit grumbly about it :(
(Caveats:
- If they're genuinely trying an open relationship, then they're definitely not communicating or providing transparency that well!
- I am not against open relationships or ethical non-monogamy, done properly and with transparency, but this smelt fishy... Couples typically state very clearly on apps if this if their thing and post photos of themselves together.)