Struggling after sudden break-up with a man I cared about

[Clmtrrto]

Guy I was seeing totally pulled the rug from underneath me and ended our relationship on Monday after a beautiful weekend and I am struggling.

He has a lot of childhood trauma and long story short, felt he would end up hurting me long term and wants to protect me, my son and himself (he was specific and we spoke at length). He has been in therapy for a few months. He is very self aware but clearly fearful/avoidant and knows himself.

I cannot get my head around it and the emotional whiplash I feel is incredible. I did not see it coming. It was agonising for us both. I could see he was so conflicted and he had nothing but praise for me.

I miss him so much and hate being at home alone - hes the only man to have been in my home. I have a 2 year old and finding it difficult to be present all the time the past week. Difficulty concentrating at work. Difficult going anywhere we went together, listening to music, talking to anyone. No one is him.

I just miss him intensely. First man I have been with who treated me well, who I felt totally accepted by, myself, supported by and had a real authentic, natural connection with.

He is 38, I am 31. He wants the door open as he doesnt want to totally lose me but I cant. He respected it. Its been a couple of days no contact and I am starting to feel it.

Is it likely he is thinking about me too?

I know that - I just mean the message is a load of waffle to say it.

He’s in a right muddle. Honestly, OP you’re better off without him as he’d give you so much emotional grief and hassle if you stuck with him. And I agree with others; he’s jealous of the child. He wants to be totally central in your life- which is verging on controlling and potentially abusive behaviour. Let him go. You and your son deserve better

He sounds like a prat to me.
He would rather not have your baby around, how's that ever going to work ?
I think you're well rid.

The nurturing hormones and instincts mothers have is great for their kids, but can also lead to women feeling the need to mother whiny, needy, self obsessed men.

Don't let him whine his way back, OP. He will just use you for sex and ego pandering.

Oh nonononoono.

You have dodged a bullet my dear. He sounds extremely intense, needy and like a naval gazing bellend with big issues. The start of a relationship should not be this fraught.

You are likely feeling so bereft bc he’s lovebombed you and created a false connection (you’re missing the dopamine hits he gave you). I’ve been there, I get it and it’s awful. But you’ll look back in a year when you’ve got your head around it all and think “thank fuck for that - he was cray cray”

Also he’s jealous of your son - never ever ever be with a man who is resentful of your child.

If this is the case then why on earth does he state that 'nor getting closure" from a romantic relationship was the most "traumatic" thing he ever went through?

That's the misuse of the word I am talking about - not what he says about his traumatic childhood.