The snoring

[inkgirl]

Anyone else's partner snore? How do you deal with it?
Ive always struggled with the sound of snoring, it hurts my ears and I find it irritating. My boyfriend is a snoreer. Last night I ended up having to sleep on the sofa it was just so bad. I can't use ear plugs in case it stops me from hearing my alarm. Headphones I only use over head headphones so that's not really much of an option either. I love this man so much but I'm struggling with his snoring. It's not quite either

I dont blame you, it really effects sleep

Thats what I told him, that i think he may need one. I'm hoping he'll listen

So you're the one who has to make all the compromises? Wear earplugs, sleep on the sofa? Sod that! There's no 'needs must' here except him going to the doctor and being investigated for sleep apnea (and losing weight)

He prefers it if i woke him to sleep on the sofa rather then me sleep on the sofa, there was just no waking him last night, he'd stir and than go back to sleep. So I ended up sleeping on the sofa. But at the moment it dose feel like I'm the one who has to suffer i just hope he listened when I told him to call the doctors as its just getting worse

I sympathise OP and put up with this for years. I found foam ear plugs from boots which blocked the snore but allowed me to still hear my alarm. I was very naive to how life threatening snoring can be and wish I'd pushed for DH to see his GP years earlier.

Yes, it can be caused from an anatomical issue in his sinuses but especially if overweight, its far more likely a soft palate issue from the excess weight. I filmed DH's snoring, used to wake him when he'd stop breathing and asked him 100's of times to see his GP. He'd nap during the day, fall asleep on the toilet, in the car as a passenger and at almost every opportunity because he had such poor night time sleep. He wake himself gasping for air! In the end I checked his epworth score, then made an online referral for him with his GP, adding the details of his score. DH scored himself lower than I did!

He saw a respiratory Dr and they sent him a heart monitor and pulse oximeter to wear overnight. No need to stay over in a sleep study unit. DH has very severe sleep apnoea and was waking himself multiple times every minute!

He's has had a CPAP machine for about 3yrs now. He has lost weight due to having more energy and waking refreshed and hopes to get off the machine. No longer sleeps all day and I feel reassured I won't wake to find him dead in bed. This is the stark reality of untreated sleep apnoea!

www.asthmaandlung.org.uk/conditions/obstructive-sleep-apnoea-osa/epworth-sleepiness-scale

I spend a night every so often sleeping in another bedroom when the snoring gets too bad eg when dh has a cold. We're lucky that 2 dcs are away at university so I can do this.

That's convenient, that he simply "couldn't" be woken up .......

That must have been so scarey.
He's stopped breathing a few times which I told him he does this. Sleeping on the sofa dosent make sleep any better because I'm worried about him. He naps every chance he gets. Going to push him more to get checked

I know right, probably because he knew I'd give up and either stick my overhead headphones on or sleep on the sofa

You need a really frank conversation with him.

This sounds pretty selfish, so if he didn't accept responsibility and set some actions in place, I'd be ending this relationship.

I will do. Other than the whole sleep situation he's actually a decent guy so rather not end the relationship over it

I hate things in my ears, and I hate stuff on my face (those snooze head band things freak me out just thinking about them) but these are ok. Very soft. Far less disruptive than sleeping separately.

Me too! Despite his dad having one.

My husband finally went to the doctor, they referred him to a sleep clinic and he was told he has sleep apnea. He was given a machine and problem solved.. Silence, it lovely.

Definitely going to have to consider that

Sorry if you have already said @inkgirl (I haven't noticed you say it,) but do you not have a spare room? You need separate rooms, once you have our own room you will never go back. It's HEAVEN! You get a wonderful sleep, and lots of privacy. Time and space to read your book or a magazine, and just have 'me time.'

As a pp said, it seems like YOU are the one making all the sacrifices. Make HIM sleep on the sofa - if you have no spare room........

After a few years in a relationship/marriage, separate rooms is essential IMO. I don't know how ANYone shares a room indefinitely with a man. Snoring, farting, grunting, heavy breathing, poking you in the ribs, and grabbing the quilt. No thanks. Having separate rooms - which we had after about 8-10 years of living together, was one of the best things to happen to our marriage. I would have gone insane if I had had to continue sharing a bedroom with my husband.

I'm hoping he dose go to the doctors he needs to

My DH is a terrible snorer. I have ear plugs (the in ear moulded) and we also have to sleep in separate rooms. Now on holidays we try to book places with 2 bedrooms.

He has been diagnosed with sleep apnea. IIRC he was getting on average 82 episodes per hour. He just can't seem to used to the machine though so only lasts an hour or so with it. @Dreamerinme how long did it take your DH to get used to the machine?

We dont have separate rooms no, sounds like it seems to work for a lot of people

My husband swears by Elaimei Sleep Strips. Fiddly but they really work. I used to get them on Amazon, but they are out of stock at the moment and I got the last lot from Ebay. They are a game-changer. He also says his throat isn't dry and sore in the mornings now.

We don’t have a spare room anyway, but it’s much friendlier than sleeping on the sofa.

You seem to be making a lot of compromises for a man who refuses to see his GP. You may not snore like an express train but your feelings also count. Not everything is about him.

I make dh sleep elsewhere. Like sleeping next to a chainsaw

He said it took a few weeks to get used to it. He could see if there is a different machine that he could try instead.

We sleep in separate rooms. This started about 7 years ago and we’ve been married 5 so I think it’s what made us better. We were constantly falling out before