Sorry, this will be long.
Married 14 months, have an 8 month old.
Husband was the one to first speak about me coming off the pill, I was thrilled as have wanted children for a long time, got pregnant the first month. During pregnancy husband tells me he wanted me to stop taking the pill as the pill decreases my sex drive, once I was pregnant he didn't feel ready for it and felt it was a mistake essentially.
Was supportive during most of my pregnancy despite the above comments and I think in hindsight he was very stressed, but would procrastinate and everything was left to me, eg sorting the nursery, buying everything etc. Excellent support during the birth but once we got home I was on my own with our baby for the first two weeks as we couldn't get the cot into the main bedroom without taking it apart so he would go to bed for the night and leave it all to me. Continued to play video games and wouldn't do "shifts" overnight so we could each get some rest, at one point would stay up until 6am but not be looking after the baby, then go to sleep until 2pm and then work 5-9. Basically I feel I do 80% even now. He agrees to do more but it doesn't always happen. We argue a lot, he breaks stuff ( not in front of me and not as a threat but it's still not good). Then he's got a vasectamy, now that is the right choice for him and I did agree with him getting it because he feels having one child has broken him, so there's no way it would be fair on anyone to have another. But I'm so sad. I wanted a big family, when he was having a better time during my pregnancy he also said he wanted more - we talked about 4 if possible. And now I feel he's taken that away from me. My little one is 8 months now and I'd have wanted to start trying for a second one around now. It just makes me so sad how on different pages we are.
I just don't know if I can get past it or if I'm always going to be unhappy with the decision being made for me essentially. We're not happy and I just wonder if I'm going to end up a single parent. My little one deserves better and I'd give him the world if I could but I'll never be able to give him a sibling now 😭 I'm so upset