Should I speak to my friend before visiting after her remark?

[FrancesLiz]

Hope it's OK to ask this here even though it's not a parenting issue. Long post warning.
I have an old friend I was planning on visiting soon when me and my husband will be visiting my home town. My husband has told me he is happy for me to see her but will not join me on the visit.
He then told me that, sometime ago (I'm talking years) when he had commented - he thinks in a friendly way - on one of her Facebook posts, another person had taken issue with his comment and my friend had responded " take no notice of him, he's a d**k". He thinks he told me at the time but I have no memory of it and I'm pretty sure I would remember as I'm feeling quite shocked now having been told/reminded about it today. He can't remember what the post was about and what he and the other person said.
I have to talk to her about this and my dilemma is whether to phone her now and find out if that is what she thinks of him or talk to her when I visit. If I speak to her and find out it's true I don't think I want to visit.
She's an old friend but I am fond of her. Part of me thinks her response was in character as she was always outspoken and part of me really hopes it is a misunderstanding.
Sorry for the long question but, if you were me, would you address this in advance by phone or face to face? TIA

Agreed.

I'm just baffled that OP is willing to go in to bat for her dh over a comment years ago that he can't show OP, that he can't remember the context for but miraculously can remember her exact wording 🙄, and that she has only his memory of to go on.

He might be misremembering it, crikey, it might even be someone else.

If you do mention it, you’ll probably both end up looking like dicks. Sorry. He claims he doesn’t remember. If he genuinely doesn’t remember the original comment, then it’s not important so no point mentioning it. Alternatively, he does remember and hence doesn’t want to face your friend out of embarrassment? Annoyance? Grudge?

I think it’s been blown out of proportion. . You friend will probably wonder what on earth you’re talking about.

Let us know how it goes OP.

He thinks in a friendly way - it clearly wasn't in a friendly way If another person and your friend took issue with it.
He thinks he told me at the time but I have no memory of it. He didn't tell you at the time and he's only telling you now because you're going to visit her.

Unless it happens all the time i'm pretty sure you'd remember your husband telling you one of your friends called him a dick.

I really really do hope you don’t embarrass yourself and your friend by bringing this up with her. She will be mortified and you’ll probably lose a good friend. Put yourself in her shoes - it’s going to be awful for both of you. Years have passed and she probably doesn’t even remember. Your husband should have kept his mouth shut, or agree to visit with you and perhaps gently tease her, as only they know what actually happened. You should stay out of it. It’s not your battle to fight.