Partner wants to end things and I have nowhere to go

[FairScroller]

I live with my partner whom I share a young child with. He told me a week ago he wants to end things and is unhappy with his life. For the last week he has said maybe he loves me maybe he doesn’t. He hates me then doesn’t etc He has told me I need to do x,y,z but even then he might want me to leave.

I desperately want to keep our family together even though I have often thought about ending the relationship myself. He has in the past been mildly abusive and has a temper.

Im a sahm. Im terrified of being a single mum. I’m terrified of moving out with no where to go and no income. I also feel I’m letting my child down as they love their father.

He has gone out drinking the last 3 nights until late leaving me to care for our child alone. He said he’s hurting and needs to see friends whilst not considering that I’m also hurting but I can’t go out to see friends because I’m staying home with our child.

I can’t eat. I feel so down and in turmoil. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did you stay/leave?

I have no income or family I could stay with. if you left how did you do it?

I guess I’m after advice and kind words as I feel complete alone right now.

Well done for telling your friend and hiding some stuff. One step at a time.

This 100%. You may not have the money to pay the mortgage however as it is in joint names he is therefore responsible or he would get a bad credit score., and unlikely to get another place. You are toonice, take the 50/50 when the time comes, MN is full of stories of men taking themselves off and having another family, then pleading poverty as all their money goes on the new family. See it from the point of view that your child deserves it.Sending support 💕

However morally I would feel bad taking 50/50 even though I’m entitled, because he’s bought the house with his money.

Stuff that, you have your dc to think about. Stop putting his interests above yours and your dc.

You need to be able to provide a home. (And he should want you to be able to provide a home for your dc too. What kind of dad would rather see his dc in poverty?

He'll be nasty whatever you do, he's already nasty while you're trying to love him, placate him and make it work. There is no scenario where he will not be nasty.

Something slightly similar happened to me. And I spiralled. So I just want to say first things first

1. have a pint of water
2. have a proper nutritious meal. Even if small. Eat some chocolate
3. don’t drink any alcohol
4. try to get some sleep. Speak to your GP asap to get temporary sleeping tablets. You need to be back to good health to focus and make a plan.

i didn’t eat or sleep properly for 6 weeks and I started almost hallucinating. I couldn’t take sleeping pills as I was still breastfeeding. I lost 2.5 stone in 6 weeks (I only started at 9) and looked anorexic. I had to drink weight gain milkshakes to stay alive. And my baby went onto formula anyway.

shit stuff has happened in my life since but the first thing I do now is drink water and eat a meal. You’ve got to stay strong xxx

Love It doesn’t matter if he bought it with his own money, you’ve been raising his kids and ironing his shorts for however many years now. You haven’t been able to work because you’ve been raising the child. What has he had to give up?

And now he’s thinking of turfing out his own blood and the child’s mother. He’s a bastard. These abusive swines always pick moral people and use that morality against them. You don’t have to convince him of your goodness, your worth or your moral fibre any more than a deer has to convince a lion.

Just get straight to a solicitor and find out what you are entitled to financially. It’s not just for you, it’s for your child. Becuas guarantee a man who would throw you and his child out onto the street, will not pay for the child once he is out either.

Get your share. Get your sons share.

Never give this man benefit of the doubt. If you roll over and show your belly, he will only bite harder.