Is he taking the P**S?

[Mummyzbear17]

So il try to keep a long story fairly short i have a partner with 2 children and I have 1 child. We have been together 8 years and met when my child and his youngest were 2 (same age). His youngest child lives with him full time and his older child stays every weekend (Friday to monday)
I spend the majority of my time at his house as it is bigger but I do have my own property. Over the last few months we have been arguing about money and both feel we are right however my family and friends think my partner is taking the P**s out of me.

I currently work part time, take both our child to and from school every day, cook dinner, do all washing, ironing, cleaning, childcare (including weekends and half terms) literally everything you can think of and also pay half towards, gas, electric, TV, WIFi and water plus all my bills for my property. I do not pay for his rent, council tax or food shopping although he has asked me on many occasions to pay half towards food shopping. He goes to the gym whenever he likes even if this is at 6am, gets in from work and does absolutely nothing. If I don't stay one night they will get take away.

He earns 3 times the amount I do but if I ask to borrow money for petrol for example this has to be paid back, or if I have to take unpaid leave and end up with half my usual wages at the end of the month I am still expected to pay towards half his household bills.

Please could someone share their thoughts from an outsider perspective!

Even if your house is smaller. I would not get into any future dynamic where you are spending so much time at your partners house when you have your own. Sounds like it is time to call it a day OP.

You sound very much like the lady who was going to move in with her partner who was also moving his parents in. He wanted to charge her half the bills for 4 people and ungodly amounts for food and cable and other stuff. She would have been nearly beggared. She saw the light and dodged the bullet.

He's played you and gotten you to do more and more and more while paying for the privilege and now even wants more and you're like the boiled frog.

You have asked for thoughts...
You sound extremely taken advantage of. Why?
It's ok to be scared of losing someone or being alone, you can work through those feelings with time and giving grace to yourself, work towards healthy self esteem, learn boundaries and how to implement them.
We are all capable of doing so, especially in your situation as you can drop responsibility for what your not actually responsible for immediately. And turn all that effort, housework, manual, emotional , financial support you have used towards bettering your partner's lifestyle onto you and your child.
Cause you know it's off, your questioning it. You don't have to split up, set date nights, if he has reservations ask reason why, is it due to childcare? Finance? Then he's missing those services you give. If he's missing you, meet up regularly go home, don't do more than help stack dishwasher whilst you chat, but it's about you being there together actively enjoying each others company rather than you keeping house whilst he's out

Tell him that you are moving out and won't be doing all his housework, cooking and childcare for him, and that you will no longer be paying half his bills as well as all your own.

what the hell are you thinking op? how did you even get to this point?
no wonder you need to lend money off him.

you don't live together, so I wouldn't be paying half his bloody bills or doing his housework.

how do I get a maid who lives in when it suits me, has sex with me when it suits me, and pays money towards my bills? I'm thinking of trading in DH.

Please get rid of this using bastard. You're literally taking money from your child to pay him to be his maid.

Be lucky these days if you can find a guy to pay the the bills and run a hoover around the house once a week.

Guys don’t let women take the piss.

Someone suggested you move out and date him. I agree with the first part but date him? He has so little respect for you that your relationship is already over.

Just get packing and not that kind of packing where you hope he’ll talk you out of it.

Hopefully op is radio silent cause she’s working out the logistics of how to tell him to stick the “relationship” up his arse.

Do let us know how it goes op. Good luck!

Wow. you are insane.
I'd say to him that the current situation is not working for you so you are going to move back to your home for a period with your child. You can't afford it. You are not putting any savings away for your and your child's future.
You propose you go to his 2 nights every other weekend. Propose he comes to you the other weekend - if your place is not big enough that might have to be on hold until you can afford somewhere bigger - likely to be less of an issue when you are no longer paying for 2 households. You will not be contributing to his bills any more and you will not stop over on any school nights so no school runs anymore by default.
Pay your own bills for your own house, clean you own house. Do childcare for your own child and SAVE MONEY. Obviously clear up after yourself and your child at his place but otherwise leave everything to him. No childcare for his children - you are visiting him so if he is not present you leave and return to your home.
You might want to graciously agree to spend each weekend at his place - only if he asks you to - as long as it is clear you are doing this on the same basis - maybe cook and provide food, nothing else. To be honest though, I suspect when he no longer has a cook, housekeeper, sex provider and childcare provider on tap, who is willing to pay him for the privilege of doing so, he will end the relationship. He is a user.

Well, you didn't have to. You could have said 'no'.

Half of them can't even manage that when they live on their own.