To wonder if a year is long enough for a divorce with a difficult ex

[Inthezone5578]

Partner and I wish to marry next summer but legally he's still married. Despite her saying she wants the divoyasap nothing has ever moved. When he tries to discuss it she refuses. Any ideas?

Has his solicitor written to her?

I expect that would be the first step.

Has he filed for divorce or has she?

If she has, he could always start his own process.

Well, one of them needs to start the process, otherwise it's the Standoff at OK Corral.

I'm always suspicious of these situations, because it tells me that one or both of them haven't let go completely.

Be careful OP, he could be stringing you along.

The OP's partner has obviously started the process if he wants to marry the OP next year.

This is why the thread title is confusing me.

Why isn't the solicitor hurrying things along @Inthezone5578 ?

@DameOfThrones "The OP's partner has obviously started the process if he wants to marry the OP next year."

Why do you assume that?

From what has been written it seems that nothing has happened or the wife is blocking the whole process.

OP, you need to ask if any papers have been served on the 'estranged' wife.

How long have they been separated OP and how long have you two been together?

The answer is easy. He files for divorce. Then the court ticks is over. To resolve finances and child arrangements as well as the divorce in a year if its all contested would be incredibly unlikely. Plus I would NEVER marry someone who hasnt got their final financial order.

I’ve been in a 15 year standoff. It can happen for all sorts of reasons. I’m not harbouring fantasies of reconciliation with my ex either.

That must be very frustrating, sorry to hear that.

I’m pretty sure mine took longer than a year, ExH did not want to get divorced and delayed at every single turn. Her refusing to discuss it is not a good sign.

How long have you been together for?

When I was divorced and dating I made it a rule not to date men who were not fully divorced.
This was because I found so often that the estranged wife always said she wanted to divorce but as soon as she found out there was another woman about she started stalling.
Tread warily OP....

As I have said before there really needs to be something in the legislation that pushed the process along

IE papers are served, partner has X days to respond etc if they dont it happens anyway.

I wouldn't be sending out invitations or booking anything in your position. There are 26 weeks of mandatory waiting built into divorce proceedings https://resolution.org.uk/looking-for-help/splitting-up/what-to-expect-the-legal-process-for-divorce-or-dissolution/ so if there's pushback from the other party over anything, you'll struggle timing wise.

It is quite unlikely it would take just a year. The other person can drag things on. How long have they been separated? Checking because you should probably not be making any hasty decisions about marriage either.

Ex and I both wanted Divorce but I’m pretty sure it took more than a year.

Myself and my ExH were both keen for it to go through fast and it was still nearly a year and that was with us both working to get it through as fast as possible,

we had a joint solicitor who turned our agreement into legal speak.

My abusive ex couldnt get divorced quick enough but still managed to b**r it up by moving her new boyfriend in three days after saying she had no intention to remarry or cohabit and really didnt get why she was back in court.

Are there finances to be resolved? If not, then yes, entirely possible.

Mine took 4 years and had I been planning on remarrying my ex would have dragged it out another 4 years.

Don't forget he needs to do the financial part too, which is separate to the legal dissolution of the marriage.

It only takes one person to start the ball rolling op, how much progress has HE made so far?

There were no finances (I didn't claim anything - just wanted it over) and it still took nearly two years, as ex refused to participate and it had to go through court hearings...

It'd really help if OP's just stuck around for one or two minutes after they start a thread, to clarify things.

I divorced ex for adultery which he admitted and it went through in 5 months. The speed was because he had the OW pushing him along. 🙂
(The divorce laws are different now I understand)
The financial settlement took longer because the house wouldn't sell so I bought him out and got free of him that way

How long have they been separated OP and how long have you two been together?
Sounds like you are the OW.

She doesn't want solicitor involvement. He's handing over everything aside for r pensions but this needs legal input. He just wants it done. As does she.

Mine went fast but that was covid times I filed October 2019 we were divorced by March 2020 it was still under the old 5 year wait rule I waited 5 years filed five years and one day because despite being "desperate" for divorce and engaged to someone else he never wanted it and refused to sign previously his claim that I was holding up the divorce was obviously a lie it was him all along