I got out of an abusive relationship in the spring of last year, and moved to a new area. There had been a coercive control dynamic at play, much of which was centred around his suicidal ideation (I was the only one he could tell about it, being with me was what would fix it, I wasn't doing that job right, so he'd scream and have massive tantrums and breakdowns and attack me verbally, etc. etc.).
At that point I was still genuinely concerned for his mental and physical health (heavy user of hard drugs, used to put himself in risky sexual situations), and so after about 6 months of no contact, I reopened a line of communication between us; whatsapp messages, a couple of in-person visits.
Then, this spring, I went through a significant bereavement. He showed up at my door a couple of days later, and had another huge tantrum/breakdown because I was focused on my grief and not him.
He ended up storming out in floods of tears, and then sent me a set of excuses disguised as an apology the next morning. There's been silence between us ever since.
So that's the context. Point is, he left something of his here. It's not expensive, but I know it has sentimental value to him, and I think he did it in order to create a reason to come back.
I've been chewing over the thought of posting it back to him (no note, just the item in a parcel), and I need a bit of a nudge.
I want it gone and out of my home. I don't like it sitting here, and it feels like only a matter of time before he gets in touch about it. Throwing it away would create too much fodder for explosions as and when he asks about it.
But I'm also concerned that me sending it back will also trigger something else – he'll get in touch again, will show up at my door... some drama will follow then too, because I've broken the stalemate.
Can someone objective give me a clearer view here? Is it simply inevitable that I'll run the risk of him getting in touch no matter what I do?