DD, 15, and I are really close. I was a lone parent until quite recently, we moved in with my partner three years ago (she had known him since she was seven so it wasn't a huge upheaval). She gets on fine with DP but understandably wants special time with me, which I completely understand and always try to build in so we will do a couple of things a week just me and her without DP.
She can be a bit clingy with me, though, and sometimes I think this can shade over into being a bit controlling. She's only recently been OK with me going out in the evenings for example (she's fine to stay with DP but isn't massively comfortable if we both go out together). She had babysitters until fairly late (about 13) and it's only fairly recently that she's been OK with being left in the house on her own, I've weaned her into being OK with it as she needed to deal with it and she's now fine. But I know she doesn't like me going out in the evening more than once a week. Generally that's fine by me as I am too exhausted.
This weekend we have got offered last minute tickets to a local concert which I'd really like to go to. DD is requesting that I don't go, partly because she's going away on a school trip next week and also because she says I've already been out this week. It's very close and we could be home in under 30 minutes if there was a crisis. We'd be out from late afternoon until 11-12pm. We've asked her if she wants to come and she's said no.
I'm really torn on this. I sort of feel that it's not her place to police how often I go out and she needs to learn that I have my own life, so tempted to put my foot down. On the other hand I also feel I have to respect her feelings and wanting to spend a last weekend evening with me before going away and don't want to make her feel I abandoned her.
Do I overrule her and just go? Or do I stay in with her and let DP go alone. Under normal circumstances I'd be tempted to just go and use it as a resilience building experience, but she's going away with school for a few days and the idea of her being alone in the house for five plus hours without me does unsettle me a bit. Maybe I need to woman up but finding it hard to gauge.