Online dating, not as bad as people say?

[SapphireCat]

I was just reading that India Reynolds (love island) has gone official with her partner, and apparently they met on Hinge.

It got me thinking about how online dating often seems to get a bad reputation. People are always saying the best way to meet someone is through hobbies, clubs, or in everyday life, but I do wonder how realistic that is for a lot of people.

If someone like India, (who is incredibly stunning) who you’d imagine has plenty of opportunities to meet people in real life, ended up finding her partner on a dating app, maybe online dating isn’t the “last resort” some people make it out to be.

I also wonder how often people actually meet partners organically these days. It feels like unless you’re exceptionally attractive, most women probably aren’t regularly being approached by men in everyday life, so relying on chance meetings might not be that realistic for the average person.

Have dating apps just become the main way people meet now, despite the criticism they often get? Interested to hear other people’s experiences.

OLD and Covid lock down worked. Lots of phone dates and phone sex. Great fun and hot!!

Have you tried speed dating? That’s a good laugh and you get to meet lots of people in a safe environment and get face to face vibes, if you click with anyone you can swap numbers, if not, you never have to see them again, win win!

I must say I quite enjoyed my time online dating but that was 20 years ago so it’s maybe a bit different now. I wouldn’t write it off though.

Many of my friends and relatives met their partners on dating apps/websites. I married mine and we met on Bumble. Had to kiss a lot of frogs before getting to that stage but decided to treat it as cultural research and horizon building. I think you have to just not take anything too personally and be clear about what your expectations are, without also being too rigid. Was certainly bleak at times but my husband is A* and sometimes i find it scary to think that we would never have met if not through a dating app.

Online dating does work for some people. In life, there aren't many absolutes.

Similar experience here I'm mid-50s now and came out of a long marriage and actually thought online dating was great because I'm a bit shy in real life and never think that anybody would fancy me but in fact I got loads of attention on online dating and had a lot of fun flirting, chatting and dating. Keeping it light. I enjoy meeting new people and get on well with men so that helps i think.

Then I met my lovely current partner on Tinder and that was that.

I can’t see anyone I like.. but equally I have no one liking me. I do like some people so I put myself out there but they don’t see to like me back anyway.

late 30s with 3 kids is going to be tough .

plus if I do meet someone.. I have worked so hard to have a house and make a good life for myself. I don’t want or need someone’s money , but equally I don’t want someone who isn’t financially okay as a big reason my marriage broke down was his debt and awful spending habits

Swiping right on a profile on OLD is hardly "putting yourself out there". If you don't like anyone you get dropped to the bottom of the pile as it is clear you have an inactive profile, and so your profile isn't presented to anyone.

I met my husband online. There aren’t many other ways to meet people these days.

It can be tough, though, because a lot of people on there just want a pen pal, are already in a relationship, or are only looking for a one-night stand. I think it’s really about how you handle it.

I didn’t spend ages chatting with my now-husband. I just asked him out. On our first date, we talked about what we expected from life and from a future partner. We moved in together two months later and got married seven months after that. Now we have three wonderful children and a life that sometimes I still can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have.

There are good people online who simply don’t have many other ways to meet someone. I was working from home, and all my friends were already in relationships. It’s not like the ’90s, when some cute guy from Starbucks might just walk up and ask you out.

Online dating can be a great option, but you have to understand that a lot of people aren’t there for the same reasons you are. You just have to learn to filter through the ones who aren’t looking for something genuine.

These days people meet on apps.
Online dating is fun.
Usually the people saying "wouldn't be for me" are people who have been shacked up.for decades and are pretty clueless.

That's a fairly judgemental view. Incorrect too. I haven't "been shacked up for decades"

I won't use apps again after finding that the men I met were either married (do they really think we can't spot it?) or displayed such glaring red flags within a couple of dates that I blocked and moved on. It gets disheartening when that happens every time.

I even resorted to having my closest friend choose dates for me, thinking perhaps I was the problem, making bad choices, but with the same result.

I left my abusive long marriage, met someone online 2 weeks later and still together very happily 7 years on. I belong to a few local “are we dating the same guy” (purely for amusement as I find it bizarre how women speak about men on there yet if a man did the same…..)
the same men come up a lot and tbh some shocking things disclosed but every single one of them i look at the dating profile pictures put on and see the red flags straight away.

some people like profile pics of a half naked man in bed clearly on roids and a white residue around their nose whereas id pick the ones out walking in nature 🤷‍♀️

there’s loads of really decent blokes out there looking for a genuine relationship, just need to weed out the wrong uns

Cultural research 😂

I think it used to be niche so youd get the likes of Guardian Personals on there, and people were a lot more interesting/interested. However as its become the default so to speak, its just been flooded with people so there's just too much dross. I do know people who have married their online dates but this must have been those who met about 5 years ago or more. Certainly pre covid.