Online dating, not as bad as people say?

[SapphireCat]

I was just reading that India Reynolds (love island) has gone official with her partner, and apparently they met on Hinge.

It got me thinking about how online dating often seems to get a bad reputation. People are always saying the best way to meet someone is through hobbies, clubs, or in everyday life, but I do wonder how realistic that is for a lot of people.

If someone like India, (who is incredibly stunning) who you’d imagine has plenty of opportunities to meet people in real life, ended up finding her partner on a dating app, maybe online dating isn’t the “last resort” some people make it out to be.

I also wonder how often people actually meet partners organically these days. It feels like unless you’re exceptionally attractive, most women probably aren’t regularly being approached by men in everyday life, so relying on chance meetings might not be that realistic for the average person.

Have dating apps just become the main way people meet now, despite the criticism they often get? Interested to hear other people’s experiences.

What’s your experience?

They met on Hinge? Yeah right.

I met my partner on Hinge and anecdotally most of my friends who have met people in the past 5 years or so, it has been online.
Yes it might have been nice to have met someone "organically" but for me, not realistic. Although we only live down the road from each other, there's no points at which we would have met and both of us can think of nothing worse than group activities (no shade on those who enjoy tennis clubs or walking groups but it's not for us!).
Also I liked that we could ask some deal breaker type questions and chat a bit before meeting so we already knew some things about each other and what we were looking for before even meeting.

Shes openly posted about meeting him on there but ok 😊

I can only give my experience of dating apps - they're awful

No recent experience, im planning to join again but hear so much negativity about apps and often have been told to find someone “irl”

It's possible that Hinge just paid her to say that for advertising purposes but it's also possibly true.

Im the same, group hobbies and clubs aren’t really my thing and never wanted to join one as a secret way to meet someone when I wasn’t really interested in the hobby. Nice to hear you met someone!

She said hinge deleted her profile as they didn’t believe it was really her and she had to send photos of her ID

My Mum met her partner online. I think you hear the horror stories more than the successful ones like eveything people are more inclined to talk about bad experiences but it can work if your sensible about it.

Oh yes thats very true, the ones that have bad experiences are usually the most vocal about it.

No one I know met their partner through a dating app. Everyone I know that tried it - including me - found it a depressing experience.

I know people who have met their long term partners on dating apps. I’ve been on them a couple of times and been successful. You do have to invest time and ignore the idiots. I think it might be region dependent and app dependent though. I would give it a try and see for yourself.

Realistically, since college I've never met anyone 'irl' I don't think. I don't work with people and when I did I was working, not socialising. I've rarely seen anyone I remotely fancy anyway. Once maybe, but his gf worked there too xD

How many people join hobby clubs? Do you know anyone in a "hobby club" lol. I guess walking clubs maybe? But...no thanks, I'm a lazy git.

Occasionally I've approached people I fancy in a casual setting. Can't say any on that worked out. They usually assume you're just making conversation. Especially these days.

I can't see how anyone meets outwith online dating tbh. Unless they have a big social circle and are socialites.

Online dating works. It is awful. Like real life it's full of people you'd rather not be in the vicinity of. But everyone's there for...similar reasons. And at least there's some character introduction.

I'd much rather meet someone in the workplace as people say as for me online dating rushes a natural process. But we have to be realistic. If you rarely meet anyone in the real world then chances are that's how it will continue.

I tried to say this on mumsnet before but got shut down but nope im in my 30s and I don’t know a single person that is part of a hobby club!

I met and married my husband long before online dating became a thing, so I have no personal experience.
I do know loads of people, young and old, who have tried it; some have met lovely partners, many have not, none have evolved into marriage, but then, most of the couples I know, however they have met, are not married.

Maybe it’s a big city thing. But then I don’t remember anyone actually being in any when I lived in the city either.

Also, if I join a hobby club on something I enjoy then the last thing I want to do is date. Becuase there’s a good chance he will end up being a dick or it’ll end and be awkward and I’d have to leave the thing I enjoy. So joining those things to date don’t make sense.

Some people have good experiences with online dating, though an awful lot don't. Maybe India is one of the lucky ones, or maybe saying that she met her partner on a particular app is a form of advertising.
Seems a sad business if a stunning young woman who presumably meets lots of men in real life, what with being somewhat in the public eye, ends up resorting to a dating app.

It depends on your personality and what you're looking for, I think.

If you want to shag randoms, it's probably pretty good. As long as you're okay sorting through waves of dross.

If you want a real/stable/long relationship, or are/want a genuine person, it can be soul destroying over time.

Most of the people I know who've spent a long time on the apps have been pretty fucked up by it.

I'll preface this by saying I've never tried online dating but I strongly suspect if I ever find myself single and looking ever again online dating wouldn't do it for me.

To find someone attractive I need to hear their voice, see their mannerisms and actually see them in person before I can have an inkling of attraction. I definitely can't imagine looking at a photo and wanting to meet someone.

Also, despite bring reasonably attractive I am horribly unphotogenic and look like a freak in 99% of photos so it's unlikely and one would swipe which ever way for me 😂

Well that’s the thing, often you don’t fancy them. That’s why the first date is always something quick like a coffee. You have to invest the time.

As for looking unattractive in photos, I wouldn’t worry about it. Men tend to swipe right on pretty much everyone. And have you seen their photos? Let’s put it this way, most of them don’t bother to shave and put on a clean shirt for them.

So what do you and all your friends do with your free time? Sit around watching Netflix? When I was in my 30s everyone I knew belonged to some club, whether it was sport, or amateur theatre, or a choir, or even film or astronomy clubs.

Nope, plenty to do that isnt organised clubs or sitting in the house 🤣

I know loads of people and myself included who have met people online. Doesn’t mean the experience isn’t awful though. Just have to find the good through the absolute sea of shite 😅

Thats why you meet up with people? You probably wouldn’t find someone attractive the first time you spoke to them either so you meet with them to get to know them?