Marriage and money - do you share?

[wordsmith]

At the risk of revealing my sandal-wearing tofu-eating credentials [not], did anyone read this article about marriage and money in the Guardian earlier this week, together with follow-up letters today? I thought it was fascinating - and amazing that so many married couples don't seem to share their finances equally - especially once they've had kids! It's as if giving up paid employment/going part time to look after children doesn't seem to equate to the world of work. What do other mners think?

We have always shared our money totally. When I first lived with DH he was a university and I was working, so we lived off my money, we then both worked about 10 years and I am now a SAHM. Our money goes into one bank account and everything gets paid out of that bank account. I personally couldnt live with somebody who wouldnt share finances equally.

I have 2 year old DD and work full time. My fiancé (not biological father of DD) offered to 'pay' me what I would have earnt if I reduce to working 4 days. He earns £250,000 and I earn £32,000. But he has an x wife and 2 kids which he very generously supports. I am uncertain what to do as I have never lived off anyone before and it makes me feel like a prostitute to be honest, but I know DD would love it if we had 3 day weekends. What would you do? How do I stop feeling like a hooker?

Our finances are far from perfect, but I do spend a hell of a lot more on our domestic outgoings than DP - he pays less than £100 a week on supermarket shopping, I pay £230 a week in childcare - ostensibly because we earn different amounts, but also because quite honestly quite a bit of his income goes on servicing his debts (accrued originally before I met him). I do end up with a bit more disposable income, but he's quite clear I'm justified in spending it independently...

Lot of money £230 a week.

lasvegas, you are planning to marry this guy, therefore would you feel differently with the ring on your finger? I am assuming you live together and underneath it all he probably wants the traditional SAHM as a wife. If you work a 4 day week this might be better for him too as you might have more time to spend as a couple/family at the weekend so he will benefit too

Thanks Cruchie. You have reminded me that he will gain from me being at home more and not feeling guilty that I don't spend more time with DD. If I look at what he 'gets' I feel better about the deal.