Should I suggest a second date or leave it to him?

[Pifco]

Recently matched with a guy on one of the apps, we got on like a house on fire and were messaging back and forth regularly. He was busy on a work trip and still made time to chat to me without me pushing.
He arranged a date for his first free day after he was back and we had a great time, no awkwardness and we kissed.
Messaging pattern much the same afterwards, both said how much we enjoyed it and would like to do it again but now it's been two weeks and nothing planned.
He declined meeting up last weekend as he was busy on his only day off. But said he "absolutely" wanted to see me again
I've been quite direct so far and I'd like to ask if we can make a plan but not sure whether to leave the ball in his court?

Did he decline after you suggested that day to meet up? If you suggested and he declined then ball is in his court.

I'd be inclined to be direct and suggest a suitable date. If he's vague I'd take it as a sign he's not keen enough and stringing you along messaging for his entertainment.

Best to know now and move on quickly.

He declined meeting up last weekend as he was busy on his only day off. But said he "absolutely" wanted to see me again

This gave him the perfect opportunity to discuss a different day/weekend.

He didn't take it so the ball is firmly with him.

This is what I'm leaning towards but he can be a little shy so I don't want to be too pushy either.

Why on earth do you need to say anything? let him do the running if he's in to you.

Because I'd really like to see him again.

He did the "running" first time around and he's not as direct as me. Just wondering if I should take my turn.

You’ve taken your turn and he’s declined, I’d say the ball is in his court now.

I'm inclined to think if he wants to see you again actions speak louder than words, let him get in touch with you but you've nothing to lose by trying to arrange another date, if he's wishy washy at least you can move on

I wouldn’t think there’s any harm is sending something along the line of let me know when your free to see if we can get a second date lined up. If he’s reluctant to firm up plans you’ve got your answer.

when DP and I met up from a dating app we were both keen but work and life meant actually fitting in dates was quite difficult we both had to rearrange, say no a couple of times but we’re still together 3 years on.
if he’s interested but shy he might be relieved you’ve taken the lead. If his reply is wishy washy then throw this one back.

If I man wants to see you he’ll move heaven and earth. They usually set up the second date before the first one ends. This guy’s not that into you, sorry.

Don’t fall for the ‘he’s shy’ thing. You’ve had a successful date and he knows you want to see him again, so there’s no reason for him to be hesitant. You suggested a day he declined. So up to him now. However if you really want any doubts confirmed or eased, suggest another day. If he declines without suggesting an alternative then he’s hopeless.

But you've already taken your turn 😳

Good point!

If he wanted to see you he would.

If he wanted to message he would.

If he wanted to make the effort he would.

If he wanted to be with you he would.

He’s had plenty of opportunities to get a second date booked and he hasn’t.

Let this one go.

Noooo.
Ball is in his court, there was noise about last weekend, nothing came out of it because of him, it's on him to organise something else.
You deserve better than a good date, you deserve someone who can set things up or who won't leave you hanging, whatever the reason may be.
The part of his character that he is showing you now (happy to text but won't make plans for weeks on end) is a lot more important to the success of a relationship than the part of his character that charmed you on the first date (can be great company for a few hours).
Charm but no substance.

A man that's genuinely interested in you, will pursue you & find a way to be with you whatever he is doing and wherever you are. Men aren't subtle when they're interested in a woman and I'm not talking about just one date.

Sorry OP I'd leave it TBH, if he really wanted to see you unless you live miles away then he would have seen you no matter 'how busy', even for a quick coffee.
He knows you are on the app, most men would be planning future dates with you if they were really interested. not leaving it 2 weeks.

I would send him one quick "well, it would be lovely to meet up again, let me know when you're free" and then stop messaging him, or at least, lean right back. You are spending a lot of energy on a penpal

I wouldn’t suggest anymore dates , you suggested, he declined, fair enough he couldn’t make it , but he should have enquired then was there another eve that would suit you both 🤷🏻‍♀️.

We live about an hour away so if we do meet up it's likely to need to be planned and a proper date rather than a very quick coffee or something but I see your point.

He’s not that into you, sorry.

A useful phrase I’ve used when someone is a bit hot and cold is ‘regrettably, I think the moment has passed.’ If you didn’t want to push that particular button, you could go with ‘free this Saturday? If not, no worries - I’ll move on.’

Yeah , no I get that , but he should have messsged you back something along the lines of “ would love to this weekend but can’t , it’s my only day off & I’ve stuff to do , any ideas when would be a good eve again ? “ .
He didn’t though , just declined, you guys have been chatting 2 weeks since that & be still hasn’t suggested an eve .
I’m in the dating game also & I don’t know but that doesn’t sound promising to me OP 🤷🏻‍♀️, sure you kinda know this yourself, that’s why you’re posting on here, it feels off to you .
If it feels off , I’m afraid that generally means because it is .

You can't send the wrong message to the right person. I'd message and ask him for some dates that work for him. If he doesn't step up to it, you know it's time to release him back to the universe.

Fgs sake! How does a man politely say he's not that interested? OP has already suggested a date, he declined without further ado. The onus is on him to provide further dates when he is available but he hasn't. Your advice screams, 'desperate' & pushy, which is never a good trait.