Political Differences

[bananagrama]

Do you and your partner have different political opinions? Do you know any couples that do?
Do you think a relationship can work if you don’t agree on this subject (in the broadest sense, obviously no two people agree on everything).

I won’t say specifically what we disagree on but I don’t want to discount a new partner on the basis of this alone, as I like lots of other things about him but find it hard to talk about.

I think if they aren’t vocal and don’t try to convert everyone to their side it’s not necessarily a red flag. My partner and I have very different views.

It depends on who or what they're supporting.

My husband and I often disagree on things when it comes to politics. He's more conservative than I am.

That said, if he was hard line and unreasonable about anything (or voted reform for example) we wouldn't be together.

My partner and I have very different views. I'm very working class and quite leftwing and she's very middle class and quite rightwing in a Thatcherite type of way. She's not that political and doesn't hold strong opinions. We tend to avoid political discussions mostly. But I think her upbringing and social background defined her politics. In a way, similar to me.

However, if she lurched towards Reform or such rabble rousing parties, I would find that intolerable.

Interesting! I’ve always thought politics is something you need to align on, as it underpins your values but maybe as some have said it depends how hardline you are.

I've never kissed a Tory and never will!

This is how I feel OP.

A person's political views are a natural extension of their values and view on how life should be lived. If your political views don't align then I don't see how you can agree on lifestyle choices etc.

my DH was Labour. Thankfully he has seen the light but I wouldn’t care. I refuse to live in a political bubble

There is a big difference in voting differently but then largely getting on with life whatever the vote outcome and being together because you share shall we say moral values but just think the budget should be handled differently

and

bring heavily aligned with everything a political party says

It's quite important to me.

I would find it hard to be with someone I had very different views to. There are many political arguments that I can see both sides of so differing opinions on those would be less of an issue but I couldn't be with someome who opposed the things I feel strongly about.

So, for me, it would depend what the views were and how important they were to me.

Political beliefs are essentially your fundamental values and I don’t think you can have a successful healthy relationship with someone who has fundamentally different values to you.

Dh and I share very similar political beliefs and values generally. I know one person who has had a long term relationship with someone with hugely different political beliefs. Over the years, she’s just come to parrot whatever he tells her to believe and is a very different person now. I think normal people in healthier relationships would have ended it before it got to that point.

Politics wouldn't even have been mentioned when I was dating. No one cared.

My DH and I used to have very similar political views, but in the last few years have diverged on several issues. We've been together for about 3 decades and still love one another so have found ways to tolerate and understand these differences. Mostly we either don't bring up topics that we know we have very polarised views on or we joke about how the other one will see our position. Had you asked me this question twenty or thirty years ago, I would have said that I couldn't be with someone who saw the world so differently from the way I did. But then I was more evangelical and sure that I was "right".

Politics can be such a minefield and I think it is more nuanced that just who did you vote for. For me I think it comes down to 2 points -

Firstly, how strongly do you/they feel about it. Are you/they someone who regularly discusses it and it forms a core part of their personality? Or just someone who has their own opinions and votes accordingly?

Secondly how different are they? DP and I voted for the same party in the last election but for different reasons. We broadly align but have different opinions on application and individual policies to reach the same goal.

I do think your political views are a reflection of your values, and that is a key part of a successful relationship

On paper I can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone who voted Reform for example, but I would want to know their reasons why rather than making assumptions.

Values and policy are 2 different things in my opinion

Before 2016, I don’t think it really mattered. I had no idea who my DH voted for, and never asked until the Cameron/Milliband election, and wouldn’t have “disowned” him for voting for either. 2016 changed things—globally, not just here. No way could I be with someone who supported Trump, Farage, Le Pen, etc.

I wonder when that was @JustJoshing .
I was dating in the late 70s and early 80s and people were very political then. It was the age of Rock Against Racism, Live Aid, the Falklands War, Maggie Maggie Maggie OUT OUT OUT, huge youth unemployment, punk, unions, strikes etc etc.

To my mind your political beliefs are a reflection of your a persons beliefs and values and, after 40 years of marriage, I think it would be pretty fraught to have been married to someone whose values (and therefore politics) varied hugely from one's own.

I'm centre right and DH used to be Socialist Worker in his young days. No idea what he votes now though.

90s and early 2000s. We just didn't care. It wasn't part of our generation. Politics was for older people and we were just enjoying life. I really miss those days!!!

I met DH towards the end of 2016, and certainly wouldn’t have dated him if he’d voted Leave. And my single friends at the time generally felt the same.

I don't care how people vote. Having people on the right and left creates a balanced democracy. We need hardnosed business people and we need social workers. Wouldn't like to live in a country where everyone's beliefs are the same and anything else is wrongthink. I couldn't live with someone who demonises the other side and rants about it, because I think that is a sign of stupidity.

DW and I have different political opinions and we are not alone in our circle of friends. Indeed one couple we know are a die hard Tory party member and a Lib-Dem local councillor. Been married for decades.

I think it depends. If for example, my partner voted Green and I voted Labour then I think that we would still share a lot of common ground and would therefore not cause a lot of issues. However, I’d never be interested in anyone who would consider voting Reform/Restore and I’d be quite hard pushed to date a Tory (though I’d be more open to discussion on that one) as I would feel that our intrinsic views on important topics would be so different that we would be incompatible and I wouldn’t like them.

Political beliefs are essentially your fundamental values and I don’t think you can have a successful healthy relationship with someone who has fundamentally different values to you.
This ^ for me.
DH and I have similar views. We are both on the left with a different degree. We follow news and discuss politics regularly. We not always agree in details and in a few issues one of us or both are more align with Conservatives but fundamentally we are on the same side.
I think views define your actions. One of my friends is a Green Party supporter and it affects some of her decisions, her lifestyle. I disagree and whereas it’s ok on a friend level, it won’t work with a partner. My mum is very right and it affects our relationship, I don’t trust her because we have different values. I wouldn’t be able to be with someone with extreme left wing views either.
I think some sort of mixture of Liberal democrat, Labour and Green, even a bit Conservative, views in different combinations might work if people are not very political and follow just for voting but not for me personally.

Seems that people on the left are saying they would never date people on the right ... but not so much the other way round. Food for thought!

I agree. I have never yet met a Tory who objected to their partner having a different set of political values.

Me too. Back when we used to take rights and democracy for granted. As a teen in the US, luckily I never needed Roe v Wade, but I took for granted that it was settled precedent, and it was there should I ever need it. I took free & fair elections, where the loser conceded and left the White House gracefully, for granted. People now have to fight to keep what was once considered “accepted norms”.