Husband said he could get a prettier woman than me

[Suzy25]

Hi everyone. My husband was in a bad mood and said something out of character. He said that he could get a prettier woman than me if he wanted and that he gets chatted up randomly when he’s out. He said he turns them down but I feel really insecure since he’s said this. Any ideas on why he said such a thing? Also how do I go about this? Thank you.

Tell him to give you his key as he leaves! Bye

This PP is either a bloke - and we know how much endless forgiving leeway men give other men for truly shitty behaviour towards women and children (eg Epstein, and the thousands of predatory selfish pedophiles and rapists, most of whom get off scot free) - or PP is a woman with internalised misogyny whose bar for self respect is in Hades and who clearly does not understand that this sort of negging is the first step men take to break down women they want to control.

Be warned, OP. He resents you and wants to hurt you and crush your self esteem. Not because of who YOU are but because of who HE is. You can't fix that, nor should you. You really CAN do better than him.

My response would be “off you fuck then”. I simply could not tolerate being with a partner who directly said this to me. I can cope with conflict/differences of opinion and even the odd argument to work things through, but would not be able to be with someone who said something like this to me.

I’m glad he’s an ex!

Tell him you can easily find a kinder man and if he wants to stay he needs to be kinder, treat you far far nicer so unless he wants booting out he needs to be the man who is far kinder etc.

I'd have burst out laughing.

'Aye, in yer dreams honeybunch. What a lucky lady she'll be, this supermodel. Let me know when you're moving in with her as I've got my eye on the sexy 26 year old waiter from our local cafe. He can have your space in the bed!'

Right so now you know the reason, tell him if he ever pulls such a stupid stunt again, then you really will leave him. And mean it.

The thing is, telling a man his GF is out of his league is actually used as a weird sort of compliment from what I’ve seen. It’s almost like a “well done mate, you got a really attractive woman” as if she’s a trophy. If that’s the kind of thing you’re talking about then it’s not the same as him saying he could get someone prettier. It’s essentially people congratulating him on ‘scoring’ a good looking woman.

In reality there is no league. If you love someone then they become attractive to you, even if other people think they look like a potato. Or you find their other qualities so special that looks become irrelevant.

If you’re basing compatibility solely on matching each others looks then this relationship is shallow and doomed from the start. The competitive attraction thing of trying to pretend other people are always hitting on you is toxic bullshit. If you’re putting yourselves into positions where people think you’re open to being hit on you should look at your own behaviour.

So you think you could get a better man than him (you're out of his league) so he's responded by saying he could get a prettier woman than you. Both of you seem rather superficial.