How you chase this up?

[GlassBears]

My ex sent me a strange email the other week, late at night lots of rambling and basically saying sorry for the way he treated me and the children and asking me to contact him. I was shocked as hadnt heard from him in a year so I took about a week to respond but when I did he hasn’t responded since. Would you find this weird? I responded by email but he sent me his number would you text instead?

I wouldn’t have replied to a late night (possibly drunken?) email full stop let alone put time into thinking about following up the follow up!

I bet he’d been drinking and was feeling maudlin. You’ve already responded, I would just leave it at that.

I’d leave it.

No, I wouldn't bother at all.
Do you think its going to be something important or meaningful? I doubt it. Probably pissed and feeling remorseful. Who wants to hear that rubbish.

Leave it. Forget about it. Move on.

Yes definitely don’t chase up. Clearly he uses his email (hence him emailing you). He’s probably regretting sending it in the first place.

He was probably drunk, maudlin, full of regrets, lonely, realising he'd made mistakes - and thought you'd be just the person to reassure him. Whether I replied would depend on a) whether he was a big drinker and b) what he'd done to hurt me and c) whether I thought he was depressed enough to consider ending his own life.

That should have been would! Dont know why it says how

Hes not a drinker

No, because then he'll have your telephone number and could make a nuisance of himself.
Presumably he hasn't seen the children or sent any money in over a year?
Keep all correspondence by email so that you've got proof that you're not denying him access.

No I wouldn’t chase it up. If he wanted to reply and continue the conversation he would.

He obviously isn’t in the same mindset he was when he sent the email. He could have been under the influence of drink or drugs or very emotional for any other reason but obviously isn’t wanting to continue talking now.

Just leave it otherwise it'll be like picking at a scab, you'll never heal, always look forward not back. I wish you well x

He doesn’t drink or take drugs

Let it go. You have already responded (when there was no need for you to do so). The ball is in his court. And if he’s neglected his own DCs for a year, it’s probably better if he just stays away rather than breezing in and out of their lives when it suits him.

It’s easy to miss an email so I was just wondering if I should send a text instead as he left his number

I don't think OP wants to take advice, so not sure why she started this thread.

It’s not easy to miss an email which you’re lookimg for and is important to you.

Does he see his children? Does he pay for them?

To me it seems that you’re wanting to be in contact with him. Why is that?

Im answering questions, he doesn’t drink or take drugs why wouldnt i respond to that?

Because the kids want to see him

And is he going to be a consistent, positive presence in their lives?

Even a fairly medicore parent would put a lot for effort into seeing their children. Why doesn’t he see them now?

Thats what im trying to figure out and why im asking if I should follow up on his message

You did follow up on his message. You answered him. He hasn’t followed up.

How long is it since he last saw his children? How old are they?

Can you trust him - if you let him back into their lives - to STAY in their lives, or is it possible he'll desert them again?

You responded. He hasn’t replied. He’s not interested in reconciling with you or seeing his children; he just wanted to offload his angst and move on. Don’t do anything else.

So why would he give me his number and address and tell me to contact him then?