New “partner”

[Flowerforme30]

i divorced a couple of years ago and recently have been meeting with an old friend, we go out regularly, spend time and each others houses, have sex, even spent the whole weekend at his a couple of weeks ago BUT the thing is I don’t know what we are….i know im not seeing anyone else and wouldn’t want to but could he be? I’m going to ask him but how would I bring the conversation up.

You’re fuckbuddies? He is not your partner

This sounds like a FWB situation

Neither of the PPs know that, this could easily just be early stages of a relationship before you've had the chat! You need to have the chat OP. How long have you been seeing him?

Oh really I thought it was more than FWB. We spend a lot of time together, speak and text everyday. I was hoping it would be more than that

Do you want an exclusive relationship?

Been seeing him for about 3 months. I need to have the conversation but it’s how to bring it up

Yes I think I do but I don’t know how to bring it up with as I don’t want to come across as possessive

Don’t want to rain on your parade but MN I’d littered with threads of women and who are divorced/split and start meeting up with an old flame/friend.
Now and again it works out, but most of the time it is just settling, it’s easier than getting to know a new person, and often the man involved is entirely different as a new partner than they were before.
If you are happy with FWB then keep going but it sounds as if you want something a bit more.
You need to have a conversation and back yourself rather than go on like this.
It is mad as people that we will have sex with someone but live in fear of asking a simple question. He may not want to answer or have an answer but don’t sell yourself short.,

Well he's not a partner. That's a long-standing serious relationship that's not marriage. It's early days but always best to be clear. In my experience men like that. Why not ask him if you're exclusive as a starting point? Say you are having fun but just want to clarify what this is. For all he knows you could meet someone else tomorrow, and you wouldn't have any to miss out on a potential future relationship if he's just a fuck buddy.

It’s more than fuck buddy, more like seeing each other/boyfriend

3 months is about the right amount of time to have tbe convo.
Have you socialised together as a couple as others would ask?

I think the fwb posts are presumptive too. You just need a chat, I don't think that's possessive. Just say you're enjoying his company and since you're having seed you want to know if he's having seed with anyone else.

Thank you for this. It’s what I needed to hear. I do get attached quite quickly and I really do need to have a conversation I think I’m a bit scared of the answer

Thank you. I do think he likes me and wouldn’t want me to be looking or seeing anyone else but he has never actually said it. I’m going to ask him when I next see him

You feel awkward about having a conversation with him about this but not awkward about having sex without mutually agreeing the basis for having sex with one another? That makes no sense, does it? You've shared your body but you won't share your thoughts or opinions?! Just talk to him!

Yes we socialise probably once a week with each other see each other maybe 2/3 times a week depending on when we are free without children. It seems to be going well but something tells me I need to have this conversation with him

That’s a fair bit of time together. Just ask.
It is about being clear, not needy.
I think people can be burned through divorce, and hesitant, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go on to meet someone and be happy.

I don’t think there’s any reason to assume FWBs or fuck buddies; it just sounds like the early stages of dating to me where you’re getting to know each other and working out how well you get on together. It all sounds pretty promising to me. Now would be a reasonable time to check in with him and at least ask about exclusivity.

I don’t remember ever having this conversation with my ex husband I think things just progressed but that was nearly 30 years ago now

Thank you. Do you think it could be said over text or best face to face

I don't understand how grown women can get into this situation, and get naked with a man, they can't speak to. I get lust and one night stands. But not three months down the road, plus an old friend!

He might feel exactly the same as you. You won’t know until you ask. Phrase something along the lines of. Know it’s early days and we don’t know where this is going. I’m not open to anyone else right now. Are you?

Yeah you are well within your rights at this stage to ask. If you feel you don't want to go straight in with what you want you could ask a more open question to start with like 'what do you see this as?'

I think best face to face personally, it's so difficult to interpret tone over text.

If you feel that you need to have this conversation then you must do it.