How the bleep do I get my libido back from absolutely zilch?

[Dibblee]

Am 42, libido is gone. Been dwindling for years but from a combination of perimeno, auto immune disease, theyroid problems, antidepressants and various other meds I just have nothing left.
Add to that an extremely difficult and complicated set of personal circumstances, autistic teenagers and my own MH issues.

Poor DH has done nothing to deserve this, he is a gem, he couldn't put more effort in but I'm just dead below the waist.

I push myself eventually to be intimate because I know he wants that closeness through sex and it is unfair to ask a 40yo man to never have sex again and I do not want to lose him and I don't even think he would go, but I cannot expect him to be in a sexless relationship. It's extremely unfair to him.
I want to want to have sex. I don't want to feel this way but its just honestly the last thing on my mind ever.

I just don't know what to do.

Would you consider opening up you relationship?

Absolutely not.

How on earth would that help me?

Can you take HRT/ would you want to try it?

Have you tried decent erotic literature and masturbation or do you have absolutely no interest at all?

I'm not sure, I'm on so many medications. Adding something else is daunting but I would consider it. I'd have to look into it

I used to read fanfics and such and have a lot of sex and still mastubate but now I just don't have the desire for any of it.

Its not a lack of attraction to my husband. I don't look at anyone and feel the desire.

Could it be these medications causing the issue?

Mine disappeared at menopause, I've recently started taking testosterone alongside my oestrogen and progesterone and it is helping!

I'd speak to your GP about side effects causing relationship issues maybe they can change meds or prescribe something on top. Exercise and good sleep can also help.

Probably affects things but I cant stop them

Start watching Off Campus!!

OMG .. you are me .. (10 years ago ) get on the hormones .. tis fab !

Start rediscovering what you like first and then tell your DH. Start exploring. Get some new sex toys. There are loads out there to choose from. Let him try them on you etc. Experiment!

Get your GP to prescribe you testosterone. It’s fantastic.

You need some form of hormones yes.

I'm not a virgin, I have had plenty of adventurous sex including trying many sex toys over the years.
The desire for any of it is gone. The issue isn't boredom is no desire

No advice OP but following with interest and solidarity. I’m also 42 and recently diagnosed with hypothyroidism and we’ve had sex about 6 times in the two years since DS was born (involving an episiotomy and tear that took 3 people almost an hour to stitch back up, I don’t think that has helped).

My poor DH is so patient and I adore him and do find him attractive but I just feel nothing sexual. Like you I want to want sex, I just don’t have any kind of desire at the moment.

I just happened to watch this yesterday, and I think you should too: https://www.channel4.com/programmes/davina-mccall-sex-mind-and-the-menopause

Ankhway mushroom gummies claim to help with libido, could be worth a try.

Oh I was only recommending a vitamin gummy nothing raunchy 😂

Vaginal estrogen and testosterone as HRT

You wouldn't have to have the sex you don't want to have.

You think that knowing my husband is fucking someone else is going to make my libido come back? 🤣

Yeah that’s literally what she is saying