Friend annoyed after I forgot plans and apologised for cancelling

[Motylog]

I met a woman at a meetup group years ago. Somehow she latched on to me. I would say she is more an acquaintance. I only hear off her when she has a problem.

About 6 weeks ago we arranged to meet up next week. It’s difficult because I am at my partner’s most of the time now which is 40 minutes away. I am always the own travelling in to meet her even when I lived 20 minutes away.

She text earlier saying she is looking forward to meeting next week. I realised I had forgot and was going to a family birthday meal and I apologised. She snapped and she doesn’t like being messed around said she had rearranged things. Then goes she can meet Tuesday.

She shouldn’t be rearranging things just to meet me. I know it’s annoying for her but it is better to find out now than be cancelled on at the last minute.

I haven’t cancelled on her before in 10 years and am really annoyed as I had apologised and she was rude. I got my own health issues, problems at work, my partner has problems and his mother’s 1st anniversary of passing coming up which has affected him. It’s like life revolves all around her.

I said to her again it slipped my mind and not cancelled on purpose.

She has had loads of fall outs with people which some people she has called the police on for harassment because she blocks them without telling them why and they want to know why. A bit harsh.

Just say you’re not that bothered and drop her. You don’t even want to see her.

In the long wrong it would be better for this woman to know that she's wasting her time on someone that doesn't actually like her.

How to I let her go? I don’t want to be nasty about it but the neediness and passive aggressiveness besides this incident is not for me.

I don't think that you can drop this person in a way that's going to leave you feeling good about yourself and your own behaviour. Maybe a row is better, get it over with.

I would be irritated if an arrangement was forgotten but as it’s a one off mistake then it’s not a big deal.
The friendship doesn’t sound very healthy or appealing and I would use this as an opportunity to back away. Spend your time with people that make you feel better.

Because she's a narcissist and your needs aren't on her radar..at all.

@Motylog you sound like a nasty piece of work.

It's hardly a cardinal sin and you've given her plenty of notice. She's obviously insecure. You don't have to justify yourself.

Dear so and so, thank you for offering another date and time. I just don't think this relationship is working out. I wish ypu the best.

Xyz

You don't even like her so stop wasting her time arranging meet ups.

Op you just reply and say hi sorry for the cancellation I do feel awful but I think it’s best we leave it for now as I really struggling and need to concentrate on me and my health I can’t commit to anything right now. I hope you understand.

Right. 👆 😅🤣😂

A week before isn’t really dropping her in it. That happens sometimes when people book in advanced other stuff comes up it’s normal.

Is she a good friend?
if not, just let the friendship go.

This is a good message to send.

Agree.
This is a good message.
No need to respond further.
Let it go.
I actually thi know a weeks notice of cancelling Is fine.
I certainly wouldn't be snippy about it and thankfully neither would my friends.
We are very understanding of each other, that life is busy and things come up.

I find it strange that you have been meeting up with someone for 10 years that you don’t consider a friend. If you’re really enjoying this friendship let it go. If you have lots of health issues etc meeting a “true” friend would be a welcome break and treat to yourself. The fact that you don’t feel this way tells you all you need to know.

It’s only the last 18 months we have met up away from the social group. Others have dropped her because of the control and neediness. I don’t like to be nasty but it’s wasting both of our time.

Update: She messaged again even though I hadn’t read her last messages.

I replied and explained to her I am not well and going to the doctors and hospital. The first thing she says is we have rearranged it a few times now. That is a lie and it’s only the second time. Then she sends a second message asking if everything is ok.

She is only bothered about filling her time because she says she gets lonely living alone. She is not concerned about my well-being as that was an after thought.

I don’t know why she demands dates to meet up when I am clearly not well. You can’t decide what date you will get better.

Cut this one loose. I know people don't like ghosting but if they can't take no for an answer I'd just block them.

I don’t know why she demands dates to meet up when I am clearly not well. You can’t decide what date you will get better.

So say this! If you think she’s being unreasonable, then tell her! If you want to be left alone, then say so.

Agree.
Cut her loose.

Hope you feel better soon.

Give it time, it'll learn!!

Block her number 😉