Random midnight phone call

[zebrawebra]

Been seeing someone for a few months, both agreed we are not talking to anyone else. I have trust issues anyway so what follows is something that has set me off.

Stayed over at his on Friday and the phone goes at midnight, random number. It tries about 2 or 3 times. A voicemail is left. I said someone is phoning you (we were about to go to sleep) he checked it and I said are you not going to answer? He said no I don't answer random numbers (to be fair neither do I, but it was midnight, part of me would be curious). I asked who is it? He said I don't know. Then went back to cuddling me. I could hear him listening to a voicemail and it was a woman's voice saying "hi" in a happy way then trailed off. I wriggled away and he asked what's wrong? I said random women aren't phoning me in the middle of the night, are you sure it's nothing? He said well random women don't phone me either, I just don't like to answer unknown numbers and I've been bothered by another one earlier today. I said so to be clear you're not giving your number out to other girls? He said no, you don't need to worry with me.

do you think it checks out? Like I said it's already hard to trust. Nothing else has made me really doubt his trustworthiness, I just feel like I'm on high alert. I'd appreciate some thoughts on this.

I don't think I'd cope very well with a partner who was so suspicious each time my phone rang. It's very difficult to control these things as the recipient of calls. I had one from Poland just now, for example. I didn't answer it, as I don't respond to unsolicited calls - people pester me quite enough as it is via email! These things are no respecter of UK business hours either. It might be midnight here but it isn't in other parts of the world. My iPhone tells me that I currently have 151 voicemail messages, but I have no intention of listening to any of them! The last thing I'd want is a partner making an issue about this, and thankfully mine doesn't.

Not everyone is as dismissive of mobile telephony as me, I realise. But does all this have to have such minatory significance?

I asked before how did you know it was a random number? Did you see the phone or are you going by what he said?

@DaisyChain505 @corblimeygvnr Okay here is what happened. He said he didn't know who it was, it was a random number. I could see that myself on his phone and another device that was right next to me (it flashed up I didn't go looking). He told me he had other random numbers (sales/scam whatever) calling him earlier that day. He was not trying to fob it off as one of those calls as we both could clearly see it was a mobile.

Rightly or wrongly, I spoke with him about it again and completely believe him.

A woman saying hi and ringing 2-3 times at midnight? I think you’re just believing what you want to believe tbh.

That's great for you, but when did I say anything about making an issue every time the phone rang? I didn't. The timing of the call made it almost comically suspicious! FWIW I have actually let it go now and genuinely believe him. You have made some good points.

Ok he said he didn’t know who it was…what did the voice note say then?

If I received a random voice note and multiple calls in the middle of the night and I didn’t know who it was I’d be saying to my partner “how random is this, listen to this voicenote, who do you think it is/what do you think it’s about?”

He may have pretended he didn’t know who it was but what did the voicenote actually say and did he let you listen to it?

The person obviously said something of worth because you heard them start speaking.

I’m sorry to say but you’re being really naive saying that you believe him.

If you believe him, let it drop then. But there is no harm in having your eyes and ears open for future random midnight callers.