Random midnight phone call

[zebrawebra]

Been seeing someone for a few months, both agreed we are not talking to anyone else. I have trust issues anyway so what follows is something that has set me off.

Stayed over at his on Friday and the phone goes at midnight, random number. It tries about 2 or 3 times. A voicemail is left. I said someone is phoning you (we were about to go to sleep) he checked it and I said are you not going to answer? He said no I don't answer random numbers (to be fair neither do I, but it was midnight, part of me would be curious). I asked who is it? He said I don't know. Then went back to cuddling me. I could hear him listening to a voicemail and it was a woman's voice saying "hi" in a happy way then trailed off. I wriggled away and he asked what's wrong? I said random women aren't phoning me in the middle of the night, are you sure it's nothing? He said well random women don't phone me either, I just don't like to answer unknown numbers and I've been bothered by another one earlier today. I said so to be clear you're not giving your number out to other girls? He said no, you don't need to worry with me.

do you think it checks out? Like I said it's already hard to trust. Nothing else has made me really doubt his trustworthiness, I just feel like I'm on high alert. I'd appreciate some thoughts on this.

why would you cut a voicemail off after a ‘hi’

I already explained this. Seriously, has nobody ever had a robocall before?!

The whole “ I was bothered by one already today “ would have me wondering is he genuine because that sounds like absolute shite .
That said , you’ve entered into a relationship where you have zero trust anyway .
You don’t trust men from the gecko.
I know it’s because you’ve been mistreated in the past .
In order to have a healthy relationship with someone that’s something you have to work on first .
Also when you have good confidence built up , choosing the right men comes a lot easier .
Would you consider counselling?
This guy you’re seeing now , I don’t believe random women are leaving him voicemails by mistake.
If out headspace isn’t good when it comes to men , we have a tendency to get involved with the wrong ones repeatedly.

The whole “ I was bothered by one already today “ would have me wondering is he genuine because that sounds like absolute shite .

Unless he's talking about robocalls, in which case it makes perfect sense.

How did you know it was a random number when it rang? Or you are going on what he told you?

I’ve never had had a spam call try 2 or 3 times in a row either .

I get random phone messages on both landline and mobile, although not at midnight.

Some are silent when you pick up and then the phone goes dead. Some are messages in Spanish or I think Chinese.

I have also had numerous messages from my local energy consultant most of which are female and are gushing enthusiasm.

If it happens again do 1471 and then check the number on the web which may indicate what the number is.

Seriously the only time I would expect a call gone midnight was due to a family / Medical emergency so it was a junk phone call whose company has not synced with British Summer Time.

I have a feeling your trust is misplaced op and you will be back in a month or so saying you have found out he was seeing other people all along. Sounds like a booty call was incoming on his end. Stupid of him to even listen to the voicemail though while beside you but then the best way to pull the wool over a persons eyes is usually in plain sight. Hope I am wrong.

Sounds like a load of crap to me. Who gets wrong numbers or "robo calls" at midnight? Pretty much no-one, basically.

Plus, if it were completely innocent, he'd play the voicemail.

If it walks like a duck......

People who are secretive with their phones are usually up to no good. Trust your gut, it's not wrong. A genuine person wouldn't behave like this. Sounds like a message from a real human, not a robo whatever on earth they are these days.

Take it from there... you should have addressed it immediately really. I know with my ex, I had massive signs that something wasn't right. He'd put his phone face down if I walked into the room sometimes and he was on it. Then his facial expressions would subtly shift, his eyes kind of flitting from the phone to me every time there was a notification. And good Lord, they were practically every 5 seconds. He was flirting online and consuming massive amounts of content to masturbate to and hiding it away from me because he didn't want to have sex with me. People always show you who they are. Just watch them quietly.

But this is a red flag. Sort it or chuck him back in the pond.

I actually didn't say it was a robo call, other people did. It was a random uk mobile number. Like I said the voicemail either trailed off or he stopped it. We were both drifting off to the sleep.

We spoke on the phone last night, I brought it up out of nowhere unexpectedly and I could tell from his reaction that he's being truthful. He's left me with alone his phone to watch something voluntarily on at least one occasion when he's gone into the toilet or to shower.

I'll update this thread in a few months if I am wrong or anything significant happens. Thanks for the comments everyone.

Yes it’s suspicious and if I was him in the situation I’d be playing the voice note aloud or explaining what it was so my partner was put at ease.

Trust your gut here.

Yeah robocalls 🙄

He was actually talking about having a sales call in the same day. He wasn't trying to pretend it was a scam or a sales call.

So who did he say the voice note was from then?

You just contradicted yourself.
” He was saying he had a sales call in the same day , he wasn’t trying to pretend it was a scam or a sales call “ ?
I’m really not trying to be smart saying that .
Who did he say rang & left a message for him at midnight?

Everytime I have a gut instinct about this one of thing it’s right….

Gut instinct is usually right and from experience I know some men can lie until they’re blue in the teeth so the person they’re lying to believes them.

One time yes, wrong number/spam call. 2-3 times, nah, then the “hi” in a woman’s voice. Something is up. He may have finished with this woman and she’s chasing him again or he’s texting her.

They can be okay liars but not enough- you just know

He said well random women don't phone me either, I just don't like to answer unknown numbers and I've been bothered by another one earlier today.

He was actually talking about having a sales call in the same day. He wasn't trying to pretend it was a scam or a sales call.

Do you recognise the contradiction here? Is it yours, or his?

Sounds like getting calls from a sex line

Any votes??

Excuse me?

May I ask why you are trying to take the piss out of the way I phrased something?

@zebrawebra you still haven’t answered the question. When you asked who left him the voice note he was listening to, what was his answer?