Partner called me his friend’s name after intimacy, should I worry?

[IAmNotHer]

So yesterday, post intimacy, my partner and I were cuddling and he called me by another woman's name.

Just "so happened " to be the name of the woman who is a close friend of his who I have wondered in the past if he has feelings for, which he has denied.

He was instantly appropriately apologetic. As well he should be.

This is bad, isn't it?

Science says we call people the names of people who we file into the same category- ie. I called my daughter the other daughter‘s name, have sometimes called my husband by my son‘s name (but interestingly never the other way around). I’d be a bit sus that he may see her in the same way he sees you. Don’t say anything yet and watch him.

He likes her. More than just friends.

Tbh OP the fact he is always being so complimentary about this woman to you would have been really ringing alarm bells. And given this latest gaff of calling you by her name seems to indicate he has feelings for her.
I'm afraid it sounds to me that he would be in a relationship with her if that was possible.
It certainly doesnt sound good for your self esteem that she occupies so much of his thoughts

Oh! I mean… surely by “friend” he means “friend with benefits” if this is the case? I’d have dumped him pronto for that. Sneaking in before her kids wake up, bleurgh!

I think context is everything here.
Have you called an ex bf by a friends name after sex or your DH "dad" after sex?

🤣 no not after sex!

An ex of mine once called me his ex wife's name. At the time, I excused it as an easy and innocent mistake to make, which it probably would be for a lot of people. Unfortunately in my case it was a sign that he was still obsessed with her, if I'd have realised that it would have saved me a lot of heartache later on down the line!

You obviously only have young kids 😂

How long have you been together?

I'll ask this question again & see if anyone replies this time 😂

who uses their partners name day to day?Especially after sex?

or friends when talking to them? especially 1:1.

i might use someone's name if we're in a group & I want to get their attention, but never 1:1.

am I the odd one here? It just seems so unnecessary?!

I sometimes call my daughter my son's name and vice-versa. My mum often gets me and grandkids mixed up. I once called an ex a different name, happened to be my sister!!

It happens. Of course you are more likely to call someone a name that you have some form of relationship with be it work or friend. As a one off its nothing!

No you're not the odd one @DoYouLikeYourNaneFred I dont think Ive ever used my partners name unless Im talking about him to someone else or introducing him to someone.

And I certainly cant imagine ever using his name before, during or after sex 😂

So if you accidentally said a male colleagues name would you expect him to break things off with you?
Honestly the number of women on MN constantly looking for ways to sabotage their own relationships.

I couldn’t stay in this relationship feeling like second best. 💐

She was obviously in his mind, even if subconsciously. Maybe she just popped into his head because he'd seen her that day? If you already feel uncomfortable about the friendship, this is obviously not going to help!

I get family names mixed up all the time, have even called grandson the name of next doors cat, but that's jusy my random brain.
After sex I have never called my husband by any other name but his....so far anyway.

This is so outrageous that I’m struggling to believe it’s a real story. Yes, OP, this is very bad and it is time to end the relationship unfortunately. Better now than later. Sorry OP.

Who calls it ‘intimacy’?? 😫

That’s even worse than ‘making love’, and that’s saying something!

We have been together a year. Yes, we do use each others name sometimes. I don't see what's strange about saying "I love you "insert appropriate persons name" ".

Well, I could have just said we were post fuck if that makes you feel better 😎

Lovely to meet someone else! 😊

Not sure if you're referring to me (or not) but I didn't say it was strange, just not something I do or would feel comfortable doing. It just feels too formal & not 'close' to me to use a name everyone uses for them.

💁🏻‍♀️

I must be odd as i say my partners name when intimate

I don't know how I was referring to, but it wasn't personal. To me I like someone to use my name as "love you " is generic and could be to anyone..adding a name makes it super personal for me and I like personal.

If you're the only 2 there, then they're talking to you, someone looking into your eyes & saying 'I love you' is personal.

someone rushing out the house shouting 'love you' or 'love you Jane' is less so. Name or not.

Using a friends name is him not looking at you & telling you he loves you. He's using it as a throw away comment. My brother used to do this, he'd end every phone call with 'love you' it just became utterly meaningless. He said it to his boss a couple of times & thankfully that stopped him saying it rote.

😂. I don't know which of us is odd, but I just cannot do it, it would just feel so uncomfortable. 🥴