Ex refused to collect my medication after I changed back to my maiden name

[Pharmacyproblem]

I'm getting divorced from a man who has been financial and emotionally abusive. As part of that I chose to revert to my maiden name (which feels brilliant).

I didn't tell him because I knew he'd get very angry and I was scared of the fallout.

Last Friday he was near the GP surgery and I asked him to pick up my repeat medication. Obviously it's always important to take your medication as prescribed, but if I miss more than one dose I become very unwell and vomit until my serum level returns to baseline again. It can also seriously destabilise a serious illness.

Anyway he came back and I asked for them. He said as they were listed in my maiden name he would not pick them up and never would unless they were in my married name.

It was Friday. I would have to ask 111 for help as the surgery was closing.

In the end an unbelievably lovely reception lady stayed thirty minutes late so I could pick them up.

I'm devastated that he would do this to me.

He;s obviously been very petty - but if he's emotionally abusive would you expect anything different?

As you were concerned about the change of name i'm surprised you trusted him with this task of picking up important medication - knowing he would find out about the name change.

I honestly forgot, it was a couple of months after doing it.

Do you get meds from the surgery? Or were you expecting him to also go to the pharmacy? Either way how did he know your name had been changed?

I think it’s rather off that you would ask an abusive man you are divorcing to do you a favour.

@woowu I assume he worked it out when they didn't have medication available under her married name.

Sorry, OP, but why are you asking someone who is 1) an ex and 2) abusive to run errands for you?
Why are you not cutting all contact with this person?

You know he is abusive and yet you asked him to help you? Plus, you forgot you changed your surname?

Why is your ex getting your medication? He clearly resents it, don’t put yourself in this position.

Move forward.

I don’t know how he would jump to that. If I asked for a prescription/medication for ‘Jane Smith‘ and I was told there wasn’t one I would text/call Jane Smith to tell her it wasn’t there. I would not think she had changed her name, even if in the process of divorce.

Emotionally abusive people are going to emotionally abuse you if you keep putting yourself in the position to be emotionally abused. So don’t keep putting yourself in that position.

I’m not sure why you are devastated re this when you are divorcing him and say he is emotionally abusive. Sounds like true to form behaviour to me. Dont ask him again. I’m sorry you are unwell.

He was taking our child to the surgery which dispenses medication.

Id love to cut contact but we are living together until the court forces the sale as he won't engage (please no comments regarding this or living situation)

You are right to be divorcing him. Now you know not to rely on him for anything.

Asking your ex to collect your medication is simply bizarre OP. It’s not his responsibility and you shouldn’t be letting your stocks run down to this degree, especially if you have a serious condition. Very irresponsible on your part.

I suppose I couldn't believe he would do that to anyone. It's not an everyday medication- it's this line with lots of monitoring needed and I've been in hospital for it times than I can count

Thank you.

And FWIW @Blueeberry , I can't "stock up". The medication needs monitoring to weeks my serum levels are safe, so lots of blood tests.

Then arrange for a delivery service from the pharmacy - it’s offered on the NHS. Alternatively, ask for assistance from friends/family. There’s way and means that don’t involve sending your ex on important errands!

No need to be so mean. Honestly what sort of life do you lead where you think the op shouldn’t ask for a favour that didn’t inconvenience this nasty little man at all.

Delivery service irrelevant as I have to wait for blood test to come back to prescribe altered correct dose so can't book a specific day.

Family live away and funnily enough am kind of out of favours from friends due to multiple admissions

But hey. Hope that made you feel good

Have to agree with the others. Why on earth would you ask someone who is abusive /petty to do something so important

You handed him that on a plate.

don’t ask him to do you a favour again coz he’s a dick. And you know it but at least he's consistent.

Why couldn’t you go to collect it?

Pick them up yourself. You’re divorcing him.

I’m not sure why you made this post.

Because she wanted him to know she changed her last name.

Probably. I guess.