Ex refused to collect my medication after I changed back to my maiden name

[Pharmacyproblem]

I'm getting divorced from a man who has been financial and emotionally abusive. As part of that I chose to revert to my maiden name (which feels brilliant).

I didn't tell him because I knew he'd get very angry and I was scared of the fallout.

Last Friday he was near the GP surgery and I asked him to pick up my repeat medication. Obviously it's always important to take your medication as prescribed, but if I miss more than one dose I become very unwell and vomit until my serum level returns to baseline again. It can also seriously destabilise a serious illness.

Anyway he came back and I asked for them. He said as they were listed in my maiden name he would not pick them up and never would unless they were in my married name.

It was Friday. I would have to ask 111 for help as the surgery was closing.

In the end an unbelievably lovely reception lady stayed thirty minutes late so I could pick them up.

I'm devastated that he would do this to me.

Well, thank you all for your support.

I can't tell anyone about this IRL and I've been in tears and i feel so alone - that's why I started the thread @Muffinmam .

And I was hoping for some kind words (thank you @Figcherry ).

Lesson learned.

Sorry OP - I really think you need to pick yourself up here… Empathy and compassion to ya, but if you got a long term and serious condition you do need to learn how to manage this yourself, esp if you’re getting a divorce! And double esp if this is an abusive man you can’t rely on.

I am really not sure what it is you are looking for from this post. Is it sympathy?

Sign up with the likes of Pharmacy2U. Game changer. And free!

Yes, it was, and maybe a bit of validation.

I have NEVER asked him to do it before, I was doing something with dC2 on the other side of town or would have done it myself.

Not everyone has family and friends willing to help.

I was crying because he knows how serious this is and he dumped me in it. So I made a thread.

@DinoLil thanks but cannot do it due to reasons above.

Sorry OP but clearly he’s an awful man so you’re better living as if you’re already officially divorced and living as separately as you can from him - even though you need to share a house with him for now.

It is shocking what he did as in it is awful, but it’s hardly surprising if he’s abusive and you’re breaking up.

@Pharmacyproblem he's a piece of abusive controlling shit. What a horrible person. Now punish him by NEVER asking him to do anything ever again and take his power away. ((((Hugs)))) Hope you're ok

At least you learnt this early doors and there was no actual harm done so you know now.

He is unbelievably petty. He presumably knows you can’t order well in advance.

Personally I’d wait until he’s leaving and pay him back somehow but I can be petty as hell.

Really would have waited to change your name until under seperate roof and divorced tbh

Don’t rely on an abusive man for anything ever op. That’s all that’s in your power to control.

He's not your friend OP, don't rely on him for a thing. You'll feel better once you're divorced. And good for you changing your name too.

He's obviously a cunt and it's evil to intentionally put someone in harms way to prove a point when he said he'd pick them up.

But you definitely need to take this as s wake up call. Anything that is genuinely essential to get done and that will cause you harm/inconvenience/financial loss if it is not done, you can't trust him to do it.

Moral of the story dont let a man who has been financially and emotionally abusive to you have the opportunity to manipulate you further by asking favours of them.
Collect your own medication .

Are you sure he isn’t destroying any post you get in your maiden name?

I'm sorry your ex has chosen to be a dick. I also hope you regularly have a way of getting the meds you need. Probably though this is a wake up call that he's not going to help and will be obstructive. I'd be assessing to see what else he could bugger up - and ensuring I sorted it in advance.

You are not together.

You need to get off your own ass and go and get your own medication.

I understand. It’s really hard when you were previously in a relationship with him and have children together. He’s showing his true colours.

Use this as opportunity to learn from it and start making arrangements so that you can collect these yourself. I do recommend a pharmacy delivery service. I do hear what you’re saying about it being reliant on tests until they dispense, but surely when prescribed you’ll be able to get it delivered to you asap or try to order them early… maybe even talk to your GP surgery about rhis

You are divorcing him, stop asking him to do things for you. You need to stand on your own two feet here.

Glad you got it sorted though

You should cut ties why ask him for help when you want nothing to do with him.

I wouldn`t collect meds for my ex even if his life depends on it, and im sure men say the same.

He sounds like a right shit OP, sorry you have to deal with his nasty BS. I am glad you got it sorted.

I think it is all too easy to underestimate just how completely ex-partners can turn into absolute wankers tbh. It's like we expect them to revert to a neutral state of being a normal human being rather than becoming actively horrible dickheads, especially with something like medication. Lesson learned for you now, I expect. You just have to make sure you don't give him any chance to screw you over like this again, and that means never asking him for anything ever. If it helps, you can take satisfaction in knowing that it will frustrate him enormously not to have the opportunity to make your life harder.

You’ve had some really needlessly shitty and snarky replies here OP and I’m not really sure why. I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope things improve soon x

probably because she's moaning about someone not getting her medication when she didn't go and get it herself.
They are not together and she knows he wouldn't be happy about it. So why bother asking him, just stop being lazy, get up, go and get it and look after yourself.

You dont get to moan about an ex not doing something for you!

Once you have your prescription, can you not get it sent to a chemist near you? That’s what I do.

Sorry, You haven’t got any friends or family that can support you? That’s pretty shit to be honest.

He’s an ex for a reason. Don’t ask him for anything.

Yes he was a dick but….. this is who he is and you absolutely cannot rely on him for something so important. The harshest lessons are the most important ones.

The lower your expectations of this twat, the easier it will be to disengage. His power comes from letting you down.