Long story short, DH and I have been together just under 2.5yrs. Married just over 2 years (yes, we married stupidly quickly). I'm 50, he's 56. I'm unhappy in the relationship - feel very unloved, unappreciated and generally pretty used thb. I fear, where he's concerned, I may have 'mug' written on my forehead.
He doesn't work (receives a tiny pension) so I carry the household financial responsibility, we have (quite literally) never had sex (holding hands is the extent of intimacy), he has never once complimented me, doesn't tell me he loves me, I carry all the mental load for making life work etc. In fairness, he does make me coffee, a sandwich at lunchtime and loads the dishwasher. He's a very reasonable flatmate.
I flagged to him (during a sensible, fair and mature conversation) that I was fairly unhappy with how things were between us as a couple a few months ago. Told him how I felt things were very unbalanced, lots of unmet needs. He said he understood, wanted things to be better and would step up.
A fortnight ago was our 2nd wedding anniversary. I bought him a small gift and a card. I got absolutely nothing. Not even a folded bit of A4 grabbed from the printer with some scrawl on it. We discussed it and he said he "didn't have a lot of experience with relationships" and would try, again, to step up. I suggested the possibility of some kind of counselling/therapy for either us together or separately. He was non-commital (as in if I sorted it all, he'd tag along)
Tonight, whilst sat relaxing in the garden, I asked him for a bit of a check-in as to how he feels we're doing. After a bit of conversation there was this:
Me: Why did you even marry me?
DH: I wanted a companion, someone good and intelligent and kind who would love me like noone else had before.
Me: You should have just got a dog.
DH: Nah, I don't like picking up dog shit.
Me: Well, okaaaaaaaaaay
I mean wtf?! Surely if you ask your husband why he married you, it's not completely batshit crazy to expect something vaguely nice and none practical/logistical, perhaps even something along the lines of 'I loved you' to feature?!!
There then followed a prolonged period of silence. After about half an hour he bluntly asked "do you want me to start moving out tomorrow?". I replied "do you think that's the fair and reasonable thing to do?". No reply from him. Just more silence staring at the floor.
Dear God's. How is this my life?!
I've now come inside and he's still sat in the garden. I don't know what the hell to think. Is this it?
Marriage over? He doesn't love me does he?