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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Can't leave domestic abuse relationship because of my dog

66 replies

dogproblems1 · 28/04/2026 13:17

I need to leave and my friend offered I can stay with her until I find accomodation, but unfortunately I can't have my dog at her house because she has a cat. I contacted freedom who foster dogs in this situation, but they only foster if you are going to stay in a refuge and have a supported worker helping you find accomodation.

But I am not going to stay in a refuge, I will stay with a friend and I can find somewhere to rent on my own, I just need to stay a month or two with a friend so I can save up money for a deposit and first months rent. Is there no support for someone in this situation? Has anyone been in this situation and has advice?

OP posts:
BiteSizedLife · 30/04/2026 22:58

dogproblems1 · 30/04/2026 22:17

Thank you so much to everyone who suggested things, I tried a lot of the suggestions and my vet did put me in touch with a foster who does this, I am bringing my dog over to them next week and then going to my friend's. Hopefully in a few months my dog and I will be safe, in pet-friendly accomodation. When that happens, I am planning to sign up to foster myself because I see now how valuable it is.

Well done OP! Great update. Best of luck for the next chapter xx

amoamas · 01/05/2026 10:08

very well done love, you are one step closer to being free...all the very best from another survivor xxx

Helpmehelpmyfriendplease · 01/05/2026 11:18

Thanks for the update. I’m relieved you were able to get sorted. I hope you are in your own home, reunited with your dog soon.

AcquadiP · 03/05/2026 01:37

Thanks for the update. So pleased you have found a safe place for your dog to stay until you can be reunited. All the best for your new life x

Sensiblesal · 03/05/2026 02:11

what about borrow my doggy?

there might be a family or someone thinking of getting a dog that might be willing to look after your dog for a couple of months.

hope you find a solution OP

edit see update - great news, new better life incoming OP

B0D · 03/05/2026 06:58

Have you tried Borrow my doggy?

CarbonArtist · 03/05/2026 07:06

dogproblems1 · 28/04/2026 13:33

Freedom said they need a brief statement from a support worker confirming that you are fleeing domestic abuse and will be going into a refuge/emergency accommodation. I will call them now and ask if they can just give a statement anyway even if I am not going into a refuge/emergy accomodation, I doubt it but worth a try

Show quote history

Call the National Domestic Abuse helpline and explain to them what your situation is and they will help you solve it. It may be that you can access IDVA support (Independent Domestic Abuse Advocate), you don’t need to be in a refuge for this. An IDVA could vouch for you to the Dogs Trust.

Or if you don’t want to do the above, could your GP write a letter for you?

CarbonArtist · 03/05/2026 07:08

Just read your update, OP. That is great news. Best wishes for the future, take care and stay safe.

hattie43 · 03/05/2026 07:21

Fabulous news , best of luck for the future , a new happy beginning for both of you .

MildlyAnnoyed · 03/05/2026 07:35

The was a post on here the other day & the poster had taken in a dog as the woman had posted on MN about leaving her H due to DV &
needing help for her dog. I don’t know how to link the thread but it was a very happy story. It might be worth asking on here if someone would foster your dog (although you might feel the same about asking on here than as on fb).

Picklesandfrickles · 03/05/2026 07:37

Could you contact your local rescue centre and ask if you can put him in there but not for adoption, explain the situation, say you will walk him, supply his food etc daily and offer them a donation for their support? Our local one would certainly help out in that situation.

CaptainMyCaptain · 03/05/2026 07:53

cobolli · 28/04/2026 13:22

There are dog fostering organisations for exactly this reason.

https://www.dogstrustfreedom.org.uk/

Dog's Trust also do this although I'm not sure of the terms and conditions.

CaptainMyCaptain · 03/05/2026 07:56

dogproblems1 · 30/04/2026 22:17

Thank you so much to everyone who suggested things, I tried a lot of the suggestions and my vet did put me in touch with a foster who does this, I am bringing my dog over to them next week and then going to my friend's. Hopefully in a few months my dog and I will be safe, in pet-friendly accomodation. When that happens, I am planning to sign up to foster myself because I see now how valuable it is.

Fantastic update. I wish you all the best for the future.

BlueSkies81 · 03/05/2026 08:06

whattheysay · 29/04/2026 09:04

I would stay in an abusive situation rather than leave my dogs

Show quote history

Me too.

ScrollingLeaves · 03/05/2026 08:12

Good luck and well done.

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