My ex fiance cut all contact with me 2 days ago because i made it clear that now he has a full time job, and clearly had money to spend as he just bought a pure bred puppy, he had no reason to not start paying me back the more than £5000 he owes me for keeping a roof over his head and food in his stomach for the previous 18 months.
It was a position i was forced into against my will by his mum and step dad he lived with, downsizing from an owned outright house to a static caravan with just a box second bedroom and not really wanting him to come with. So he found the cheapest shithole possible to rent. But he was only on standard £400 a month UC and banded LCW which doesn't pay any extra, and despite his mums insistence he'd get his full rent covered on top, they didn't actually look into it before selling up, and the LHA actually only paid a little over half. He found out on move in day, with a 12 month lease signed.
His mum insisted they were only just scraping by, as did his dad, and apparently neither could afford to give him any money. So everyone expected me, the long distance gf he only saw once a week, to cover it. I didn't want to, but i loved him and he was emotionally manipulative, regularly using threats of self harm or suicide if he lost his flat. I begged him to apply for discretionary housing payment but it was "too stressful" apparently, he'd rather i just pay for everything.
We split up after i found out he'd lied to me from day 1 about being a porn addict when i'd been clear in the talking stages when we were just friends who liked eachother, that i hate porn, consider it cheating and wouldn't date someone who watches it. He admitted he knew i'd "friend zone" him if he was honest so he lied to get what he wanted. So complete disrespect, dishonesty, and betrayal, for 5 1/2 years (1 1/2 engaged, which i had to push for as a desperate hope for commitment from him to prove i wasn't just a cash cow). He confessed just after new year because he couldn't handle the guilt making him feel bad. When i wanted to split because i was heartbroken, he threatened suicide if i left him.
I left him in February, he immediately gave up his flat (kept the deposits and refunds on pre paid stuff I paid for!) moved in with mummy, and guess what, is doing just fine in that box room despite all his previous suicide threats if he had to move there. Got a full time job 3 weeks ago and is splashing the cash on expensive adult lego sets and said new puppy. When i questioned why he hadn't offered to pay me back anything, i got the "I thought you were willing to pay because you loved me, you could have said no." BS, i was forced at threat he'd kill himself if i didn't. Followed by "I think it's best we cut all contact, we were bound to fall out over something if we stayed friends (which was at his insistance for his MH, i didn't originally want to) I know you're going to think it's about the money but i swear it isn't, i hope you have a good life".
So here i am, heartbroken and feeling completely used with no savings left, while he saunters off into the sunset without a care for what he's done to me.
Sorry for the rant, just triggered by the post about shit men who use you for money and gaslight you about it. And i can't talk to friends about it because they're all mutual and he threatened suicide also if i told any of them what he did and didn't just go with the "things just didn't work out" narrative.