What would you say your love language is?

[yh8181]

like most common one

I hate that love language bullshit.

I think that makes my "love language", abject cynicism.

'Love language' 🤮🤮

You might need to be a bit more specific OP.

What's yours?

Being left the fuck alone.

Holding hands probably

Is this referring to the way a couple or family express fondness? I think we just say it, but like a lot of couples or families, the styles and words we use are rooted in our shared history.

Agree either way this. It’s made up bullshit to justify behaviours.

And funny how most men say their love language is physical touch 😂

Surely for me a bit of everything. I like being open and having a conversation but hugs and touch are so important. I feel very supported when someone does acts of service for me. Gifts are nice but not a bit deal to me.

I think my ‘love language’ is offering people food and drink at every opportunity, and then saying ‘are you sure?’ if they decline. Must be quite annoying!

It's pseudo scientific bullshit made up by a Baptist "Dr" who counsels his parishioners without an ounce of training or accreditation.

And quite happily encourages women in abusive relationships to accept their husband's "love language" is physical/sexual touch and to give in to it to strengthen their marriage. All backed up with scripture of course.

I was about to say 'My love language is suggesting you look up the actual source of this love language nonsense', but yours will also do nicely!

100% - I’m not a creepy abuser who gropes you at any opportunity, it’s just my love language

I actually think they're a really useful tool for working out where things may be going wrong in an otherwise good relationship.

Mine are words of affirmation and physical touch. My ex's were quality time and acts of service. We cared deeply for each other, but didn't feel connection from the way the other person showed their love. It was a big reason why it didn't work out - but we work well as friends/co-parents now.

Alcohol

First post nails it.

This is such crap. Normal people don't have a 'love language'. They treat their partners with kindness, respect and decency and expect the same in return.

I'd be dumping anyone who talked about their 'love language' being anything. It's code talk for 'this is how I'm going to behave, whether you like it or not, and you can't challenge it because it's just my way of showing you that I lurve you..'

I find it deeply creepy.

Any man on dating apps who says his love language is physical touch is an automatic no

Absolutely agree. As someone has already said it’s made up US right wing Bible Belt nonsense to gaslight women into accepting shitty behaviour

The concept of ‘love languages’ originated with a Christian preacher and is deeply misogynistic.

plus men always but always say it’s physical touch 🥱

Exactly. Misogynist Baptist preacher Gary Chapman.

I did look it up ages ago because (1) it's such obvious horseshit and (2) I used to get irritated about how it used to be parrotted on here as if it was the result of generations of peer-reviewed research, rather than the money-spinner of some evangelical grifter.

Actual research suggests no basis whatsoever to the idea that people have a preferred 'love language' or that relationships are happier when both people 'speak' the same one.

Not that any of that stopped Gary writing about five follow-ups adapting the same non-insight for different contexts. There's a specific one about 'love languages' in military families. I imagine that is particularly hair-raising. I don't imagine that Gary C is envisaging a female major.

Hear hear.

I love all of it, affection, compliments, surprises (not monetary just little gestures like i saw your favourite snack and bought it you)
I dont really buy into love languages, just love me and appreciate me and il do the same 😊

Agree. It's nauseating nonsense, makes me cringe.

My favourite MN post ever.

I think it's a load of old guff 😂

I've no idea. Sounds like a load of nonsense.

I love my mum because she's my mum and she loves me. I love some other people because we have things in common and I like their personalities and find them appealing and they feel the same about me.

Offensive probably. If a (potential) partner asked me, I'd tell him to F off.