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Relationships

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What would you say your love language is?

63 replies

yh8181 · 01/04/2026 10:20

like most common one

OP posts:
NewGirlInTown · 01/04/2026 12:34

ShowOfHands · 01/04/2026 10:22

I hate that love language bullshit.

I think that makes my "love language", abject cynicism.

Quite so. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

NewGirlInTown · 01/04/2026 12:34

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 01/04/2026 10:23

Being left the fuck alone.

Splendid.

Pepperedpickles · 01/04/2026 12:37

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 01/04/2026 10:23

Being left the fuck alone.

Same.

Or maybe if they want to take the bins out and cut the grass.

CapacityBrown · 01/04/2026 13:12

You need to use the Burned Haystack Dating Method to check what sort of Love Language is acceptable.

Disturbia81 · 01/04/2026 13:13

nothingcangowrongnow · 01/04/2026 10:29

Surely for me a bit of everything. I like being open and having a conversation but hugs and touch are so important. I feel very supported when someone does acts of service for me. Gifts are nice but not a bit deal to me.

This, definitely a bit of everything, not too much or too little of one. Like everything in life it’s about balance

Roselily123 · 01/04/2026 13:15

Quality time and physical touch.
luckily my Dh is also physical touch.
He does think ‘quality time’ is watching tv together , but I have educated him Grin

MrThorpeHazell · 01/04/2026 17:21

English.
That's my language for all human transactions actually.

1000StrawberryLollies · 01/04/2026 17:24

ShowOfHands · 01/04/2026 10:22

I hate that love language bullshit.

I think that makes my "love language", abject cynicism.

Agreed.
Tbf I don't think you actually need to be abjectly cynical to realise that the whole 'Love Language' thing is a load of cringeworthy bollocks.

outerspacepotato · 01/04/2026 18:46

What it isn't is oppressive patriarchal fundamentalist bullshit from a US Southern Baptist preacher.

DreamyJade · 01/04/2026 18:54

‘Love Languages’ are bollocks. People use them to excuse poor behaviour. “I didn’t get my wife a birthday gift because gifts aren’t my love language. I did empty the bins though”. Absolutely shite!

Be nice. Make an effort to be thoughtful. Be kind in your words. Be affectionate. Buy the odd gift or treat. Don’t be a dick.

ChaToilLeam · 01/04/2026 19:22

For DP and me, our love language is mostly swearing.

fullfatt · 01/04/2026 19:25

outerspacepotato · 01/04/2026 18:46

What it isn't is oppressive patriarchal fundamentalist bullshit from a US Southern Baptist preacher.

👏👏👏👏👏

TwistedWonder · 01/04/2026 19:30

Glad there’s so many fellow cynics knowing this is bible belt bollocks

It gives shitty blokes a get out clause - hey babe I can’t load the dishwasher or take the bins out because acts of service isn’t my love language but if you fancy a shag I’m in because mine is physical touch

Gwenhwyfar · 01/04/2026 19:39

Attention/being listened to.

Gwenhwyfar · 01/04/2026 19:39

Pepperedpickles · 01/04/2026 12:37

Same.

Or maybe if they want to take the bins out and cut the grass.

So acts of service then?

Gwenhwyfar · 01/04/2026 19:41

Disturbia81 · 01/04/2026 13:13

This, definitely a bit of everything, not too much or too little of one. Like everything in life it’s about balance

Yes, but it's about which one is most important. I do appreciate gifts for special occasions, but it's clearly not my 'love language'.

Gwenhwyfar · 01/04/2026 19:42

DreamyJade · 01/04/2026 18:54

‘Love Languages’ are bollocks. People use them to excuse poor behaviour. “I didn’t get my wife a birthday gift because gifts aren’t my love language. I did empty the bins though”. Absolutely shite!

Be nice. Make an effort to be thoughtful. Be kind in your words. Be affectionate. Buy the odd gift or treat. Don’t be a dick.

I find the concept useful actually.
You don't have to believe the well-known theory, but you can recognise that different people find different things important and that it's useful to communicate it.

Gwenhwyfar · 01/04/2026 19:43

ChaToilLeam · 01/04/2026 19:22

For DP and me, our love language is mostly swearing.

Oh big clever you!

GreySkySummer · 01/04/2026 19:44

ShowOfHands · 01/04/2026 10:22

I hate that love language bullshit.

I think that makes my "love language", abject cynicism.

This is my love language

Babyboomtastic · 01/04/2026 19:53

I find it useful.

People shouldn't be using it to justify bad behaviour from a partner, but to deepen their understand of them.

So if my husband's primary language was gifts of service but mine wasn't, I might not realise that him blitzing the house whilst I'm out was done out of love. So it means I can appreciate it more and thank him.

It also helps me understand why he might get grumpier than me if I leave my socks on the floor and don't do the washing up. So I make an effort to do so out of love.

Equally, because he knows that's not my primary language, he should realise that I'm messy because I'm a slob, not because I don't love him. But because my primary language is words if affirmation, he makes a mental note to tell me that he loves me frequently, even though it doesn't become naturally to him.

Physical touch doesn't have to be about sex and no one should be giving more than they want in that or any context. If you can't justify the money don't buy a gift. If you're tired don't do acts of service, if you're not in the mood for sex, don't. But gaining an understanding of how you and someone else loves is surely a good thing.

My issue is that I'm pretty balanced on all of them 😂. Totally greedy.

1000StrawberryLollies · 01/04/2026 21:07

Babyboomtastic · 01/04/2026 19:53

I find it useful.

People shouldn't be using it to justify bad behaviour from a partner, but to deepen their understand of them.

So if my husband's primary language was gifts of service but mine wasn't, I might not realise that him blitzing the house whilst I'm out was done out of love. So it means I can appreciate it more and thank him.

It also helps me understand why he might get grumpier than me if I leave my socks on the floor and don't do the washing up. So I make an effort to do so out of love.

Equally, because he knows that's not my primary language, he should realise that I'm messy because I'm a slob, not because I don't love him. But because my primary language is words if affirmation, he makes a mental note to tell me that he loves me frequently, even though it doesn't become naturally to him.

Physical touch doesn't have to be about sex and no one should be giving more than they want in that or any context. If you can't justify the money don't buy a gift. If you're tired don't do acts of service, if you're not in the mood for sex, don't. But gaining an understanding of how you and someone else loves is surely a good thing.

My issue is that I'm pretty balanced on all of them 😂. Totally greedy.

They aren't 'languages' though, are they? They are just preferences. Human beings narlyurally have preferences for the type of people and behaviour we like and dislike. It's just a question of personality, as it always has been. Calling it 'love languages' is ridiculous.

Babyboomtastic · 01/04/2026 21:10

1000StrawberryLollies · 01/04/2026 21:07

They aren't 'languages' though, are they? They are just preferences. Human beings narlyurally have preferences for the type of people and behaviour we like and dislike. It's just a question of personality, as it always has been. Calling it 'love languages' is ridiculous.

I guess it a form of communication about how you feel, which is why they call it a language. But it doesn't really matter, it's about knowing eachother, what makes eachother feel secure and loved.

KitTea3 · 01/04/2026 21:10

Gifts

Mostly gifts, I like giving people things that make them happy. But not just material things....so personally i have (weird?!) thing where every week when I go back to mine I draw my bf a cartoon/picture. 😳 Im by no means a good artist 🤣🤣 but he enjoys the fact I make the effort to draw my silly little pictures ( and he now has 3 photo albums worth 😂)

soddingspiderseason · 01/04/2026 21:18

Tea. Bacon sandwich. Putting the bins out.

NotMrPerfectAfterAll · 01/04/2026 21:19

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 01/04/2026 10:23

Being left the fuck alone.

This. In peace and fucking quiet. With wine.