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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can a friendship recover after I withdrew during tough early baby months?

52 replies

Cupofteandtoast · 25/03/2026 19:44

I had a baby last year, and for various reasons I found it quite tough going especially with sleep etc. As a result I found it quite hard to maintain my friendship with my best friend as I was so exhausted and just found it so much easier to be around my antenatal friends instead.

Initially my BF was really supportive, and would text me all the time & tried to arrange weekly meet ups but I’ll be honest I found it too much and even replying felt like another chore on my never ending list & I found myself not replying, often for weeks at a time which I know was really rude & meet ups became few & far between especially as when we did arrange something it always seemed like my baby was ill so I had to cancel.

Anyway, I’m nearing the end of my mat leave now and baby is in a good routine etc but I’ve just sort of realised that me and my BF are really not that close anymore. We used to text every day but now it’s only to arrange a meet up & she doesn’t really suggest anything or seem overly keen. I can also see from instagram that she’s become a lot closer with another group of women which I do get & tbf ive got a new group of mum friends too but I just feel so sad about it.

Has anyone been in this situation and managed to recover their friendship back to how it was ?

OP posts:
january1244 · 27/03/2026 20:27

I was going to say that also, it’s amazing after mat leave ends and you all go back to work how quickly those relationships drop away.

Presumably as she has children and you were still best friends she didn’t do this to you. None of my close friends have done this after having children, and I haven’t to them either after mine. Like others say, messages take seconds. And it’s brilliant to meet up with friends and have conversation that isn’t dominated by sleep schedules and milestones.

Probably as others have said, you are going to have to make a big gesture. But also accept the relationship might be gone for her now

Barrenfieldoffucks · 27/03/2026 23:38

WhatNoRaisins · 27/03/2026 17:45

If anything I was probably replying to messages faster during those nap trapped days. Didn't have anything better to do.

This was what I was getting at, I've rarely had as much time since 😬

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