Summoned for voluntary police interview after ex claims harassment, need advice

[AdvicePlease2026]

I've been asked to attend a voluntary police interview tonight after an allegation of harassment has been made against me in November 2025.

Someone I had a fling with years ago gave me herpes - this is a proven fact, and he has done it to someone else too. He denies he has it in the first place. He has also been violent and abusive to an acquaintance of mine (she didn't know he was an ex of mine when she met him). He appeared on the 'Are we dating the same guy?' page on Facebook and I of course warned the person to stay away. He found out - messaged me asking me to take it down and threatening legal action - I took it down. I then blocked his number.

I was later alerted to the fact that he had made a post about me on LinkedIn, naming me. I asked the person who told me if they could screen shot it as I didn't want him to see I'd been on his page, but it had gone. I then messaged him on Instagram and basically said it works both ways, don't post about me after threatening legal action for me telling the truth.

Next thing my manager calls a meeting with HR. He'd reported me for bringing the organisation into disrepute. They investigated, I made a statement, they agreed no further action. He wasn't happy about that and then contacted them repeatedly asking them to reconsider. Around the same time, my car was vandalised. It was reported to the police who agreed it was likely related, but there was no evidence. After that it went quiet and I made sure he was blocked from any way of contacting me.

Now four months later I'm being summoned for a police interview under caution and with a solicitor present! WTAF. It's me who's been harassed here! He is a very cocky arrogant gobshite and tells a good story but they've obviously blindly believed whatever he's told them!

I know I need to stay calm and just give the facts but I'm swinging between anxiety and anger here... surely they can't do anything further?! Has anyone got any advice at all?! My experience with the police is clouded already due to a previous experience of DV years ago when they believed him over me despite there being physical evidence

get a lawyer and don't attend without one

sorry you are in this situation

I’d attend, get my own solicitor, take a written timeline with all the facts. He will hopefully shoot himself in the foot once you’ve put your side across. Because from what you’ve said it looks to me like he’s the one harassing x

It sounds like you may have been posting things that whilst they may be true, are unproveable. For example, how can you prove that you caught herpes from him specifically? You can’t, you can only prove you had herpes. Also, how can you prove he posted something derogatory on Linkedin if your friend wasn’t able to get a screenshot of the offending post? Presumably, he has proof that you posted something about him that could be considered harassment on SM.
You need to see what the police have to say and what evidence they have, and follow the advice of the solicitor.

Didn't you start a thread the other day but you couldn't work out who you'd harassed because you had a fairly long line of people/incidents to choose from?

@Soontobe60 because it is mostly likely to appear 3-4 days after a sexual encounter, which it did, with him. Same happened to the other woman too. Also I can't see how one social media comment is considered harassment when the very legal definition involves a repeated course of action...

Yes - have they now told you it’s related to this person? As it seemed like it could be related to other parts of your social media posting

I don't think you should have accused him of giving you herpes - you've got absolutely no way of proving this.

I have to ask - have you got something nice planned to do this week-end? Sunday lunch/cocktails/brunch/cinema/coffee/dinner with your mates type of thing? Might be as well to get off social media and go out and enjoy yourself.

OP are you sure it’s about him?
After all, if he vandalised your car, IF he did, I can’t see him trotting to the police.
And did you share his image on the Facebook page?
Your post the other day mentioned other possible reasons for being accused of harassment… you said on that post you’d asked for a duty solicitor.
I think it’s advisable to get a solicitor yourself before you go to a voluntary interview with the police. You may be advised to respond with a no comment interview but you don’t actually know at all how the interview could go and you could be arrested on the spot (theoretically). Fgs don’t be casual about this and get legal advice before you attend the interview

@Northstar26 I know it's from November 2025 and that's the only thing that happened then

@mrbluebirdonmyshoulder I am out with my mum tomorrow for Mother's Day

@Mingspingpongball I suspect his report was before the car was damaged and he has thought no action would be taken. No I didn't post the photo of him online. The duty solicitor is attending

Agree - they had so many aggressive confrontations on and off line they were unsure which would be classed harassment - although of course they believed all were not.

@AdvicePlease2026seems that you are a ‘High Conflict Personality’ - maybe due to childhood neglect, abuse, trauma, substance abuse, unmanaged MH or ND issues. Please try to get some professional help and take yourself out of triggering environments. Try to surround and busy yourself with stress reducing activities and peaceful people. You don’t need to keep locking horns and fighting battles - look after yourself.

@Letterfrack Yes I have all of those things, and believe me I am trying my best. None of the confrontations described could be in any way shape or form described as aggressive. I'm not an aggressive person.

I fail to see how the example it does relate to can either be seen as aggressive or considered harassment

Am i missing something? What on earth are you talking about? Are you the Herpes Guy?

From my perspective OP, you haven't described any "aggressive confrontations" and neither does anything suggest you have a "high conflict personality". How insulting!

Ignore that shit OP.

I'm familiar with the Protection from Harrasment Act and it does indeed require a course of conduct! It sounds like he has been harassing you. What a disgusting Psycho.

As PPs have said speak to a solicitar and get him to go to the interview with you. That being said,i honestly think this is absolutely baseless.

I’d really stay off of social media.

Attend the interview with a solicitor.
Make sure you are VERY clear what the allegations are.
Their advice will likely be to answer 'no comment' to any question you're not 100% accurate on.
They will then decide what happens next, if it needs to go to the CPS, you could be waiting for an answer for months.

Can you take your own solicitor rather than the duty one? And a written timeline of events would be useful. Good luck!

The OP posted this the other day, with a long list of potential options as to why a harassment charge may have been made against her. She falls out with a lot of people online.

Hardly - this was one situation, and the other was an ex who wouldn't take no for an answer (not online)

There was one incident which was online where I had objected to racism, in which two people were involved

Not one thing here suggests harassment but as we know people are malicious - certainly this man is! And nothing at all has suggested I have been aggressive at any point

I'd stay off the internet OP.

Get a solicitor, a good one. My friend posted on one of those groups and whilst it was the truth she ended up being arrested and charged as she had know way of proving her allegation was true. It’s utterly ruined her financially as she ended up loosing her job. Be very careful what you post x

My work has already investigated the post at the request of this individual; they agreed no further action was required

Write all of this down, gather any evidence you have (including the crime reference number for the vandalism, any photos you have of that, any text messages between you two that might be relevant, anything that evidences him contacting your work repeatedly, which itself could constitute harassment), and get a solicitor. If it's as you've described it doesn't sound like what you've done would qualify as harassment; you just need to give them the full picture - try not to worry.

Yes, maybe but if you get arrested as a result of today your work may not agree to no further action...

Lawyer up - your own lawyer & FFS quit shouting the odds on SM.

Just. Step. Away OP.

This all happened in November! I haven't had any contact from this person this year, directly or indirectly. I blocked his number and all social media accounts when he first contacted me about the one initial comment. I can't afford to pay for a solicitor so will have the duty solicitor tonight. I have no messages between us because there were literally two and I deleted them when I deleted his number. Work will have records but I can't access them today and I'd like to think the police can access my report about my car. I just cannot see how they can arrest me for one comment and one message when he has badgered my work, made public posts naming me and potentially vandalised my property.

I would seek legal advice, it may be better not to attend the voluntary interview or to attend and only answer no comment as they presumably don't have a case to charge you or would be arresting you and doing so. You need legal advice to be sure of the best course of action as sometimes going along and explaining can backfire on you

@greencrab I've already agreed to go at 930 tonight, I will speak to the duty solicitor beforehand who apparently will have been briefed and will recommend the best course of action for me - that's what I've read anyway, I've never been involved in anything like this before