Summoned for voluntary police interview after ex claims harassment, need advice

[AdvicePlease2026]

I've been asked to attend a voluntary police interview tonight after an allegation of harassment has been made against me in November 2025.

Someone I had a fling with years ago gave me herpes - this is a proven fact, and he has done it to someone else too. He denies he has it in the first place. He has also been violent and abusive to an acquaintance of mine (she didn't know he was an ex of mine when she met him). He appeared on the 'Are we dating the same guy?' page on Facebook and I of course warned the person to stay away. He found out - messaged me asking me to take it down and threatening legal action - I took it down. I then blocked his number.

I was later alerted to the fact that he had made a post about me on LinkedIn, naming me. I asked the person who told me if they could screen shot it as I didn't want him to see I'd been on his page, but it had gone. I then messaged him on Instagram and basically said it works both ways, don't post about me after threatening legal action for me telling the truth.

Next thing my manager calls a meeting with HR. He'd reported me for bringing the organisation into disrepute. They investigated, I made a statement, they agreed no further action. He wasn't happy about that and then contacted them repeatedly asking them to reconsider. Around the same time, my car was vandalised. It was reported to the police who agreed it was likely related, but there was no evidence. After that it went quiet and I made sure he was blocked from any way of contacting me.

Now four months later I'm being summoned for a police interview under caution and with a solicitor present! WTAF. It's me who's been harassed here! He is a very cocky arrogant gobshite and tells a good story but they've obviously blindly believed whatever he's told them!

I know I need to stay calm and just give the facts but I'm swinging between anxiety and anger here... surely they can't do anything further?! Has anyone got any advice at all?! My experience with the police is clouded already due to a previous experience of DV years ago when they believed him over me despite there being physical evidence

I am not a lawyer and can't offer any legal advice so this may be wrong:

I would call back and say you have now changed your mind about attending today as you are seeking further legal advice. then look at CAB, solicitors that offer free initial hour or putting it on a credit card/borrow to pay for a consultation.

if you did get this wrong a conviction it could be far more costly, might affect your employment and random seemingly unconnected things like your car insurance can go up.

@greencrab but I am still having advice from a solicitor?

Take advice of your solicitor, but also report all of his harassment of you to the police as well. The police will not look fondly on malicious reports by abusive controlling men. They will be unlikely to pursue any charges against either of you, but they will give him a stern talking to.

Fwiw, I think this is quite a recent report, probably because you blocked him and have had nothing to do with him since November. He needs another hit, so is stirring the pot since he can’t contact you directly.

I made a report of harassment against a parent in my child’s school. My child was a witness to his son committing a racist attack. She reported it. The father contacted my dd directly and threatened her. We had it in writing. The police contacted me about the report within about 3-4 days so he would have done this recently. They took no action. 🤷🏻‍♀️ This will come to nothing if what you’ve said is true. I’d explore the possibility of a non-molestation order.

I don’t disagree about the alleged harassment issue.

@mindutopia I wish I could agree but after being told by officers (years ago - ex before this) that the man would kill me if I didn't press charges, only then to release him without charging him, we went and complained to senior officers. Who then accused me of punching myself in the face and ripping off my own clothes - this guy reminds me a lot of my ex in that he tells a good convincing story. I do have significant MH problems and autism which I have made them aware of, but I doubt it makes much difference

You clearly haven’t seen OPs other thread.

OP this is the second time you’ve posted about this. The best thing you can do is stay off the internet and speak to a solicitor. Genuinely. Get off the internet.

How about I'm on here because I want advice? I'm absolutely fucking terrified. I'm speaking to a solicitor when I attend the station later, not sure how many more times I need to repeat myself.

I think you should plan to say “No comment” op. You could give them a pre prepared statement saying you haven’t had time to prep

You were told on your last thread multiple times that nobody here can give you advice. This is a serious situation so you shouldn’t be seeking advice from randoms on MN anyway. You need actual legal advice from professionals.

Heaven forbid that anyone should actually expect any sort of support on here hey

OP made a thread yesterday when she wasn’t sure who had made the allegation, and listed all the people she thought it could be. It was an incredibly long list of people she had fallen out with recently online. That’s what that PP is referring to, and she isn’t wrong.

@Tigerbalmshark please stop with the exaggeration. There was no 'incredibly long list' JFC

One was this person, one was a real-life ex from January who took our breakup really badly. There were two people relating to one incident online where I called them out for being racist (which they were)

Do as your solicitor tells you
Listen to what the police have to say
Don't talk yourself into a charge. If they had evidence to arrest you they would.

@marcyhermit I'm so worried they will twist anything I say or try and trip me up, the only previous experience I've had of a police interview was horrendous and I wasn't believed and accused of being a liar and that was when I was the victim. I'm so scared I can't stop crying and shaking I've barely slept or eaten since I got the email on Thursday and now I'm panicking about my job

Get your solicitor's advice.
The interview is to gather evidence against you. If you are worried about waffling or being tripped up, ask your solicitor about making a prepared statement (you write a statement with your solicitor covering your version of events and they read it out) and declining to answer questions, or a no comment interview. Your solicitor is there to advise you on the best strategy.

I am sorry that you are suffering from all of those issues which will be compounding and exhausting your emotional capacity. Please seek more professional help - as you appear to not be supported sufficiently which is leaving you exposed in stressful and abusive situations.

Welp.. looks like a night in a cell 😟

@UncannyFanny or I've just been for a celebratory glass of wine with my mum since as soon as I stepped through the door the solicitor said don't worry there'll be no further action. The idiot had made up completely ludicrous claims about me, had then refused to give a statement and provide any evidence of these claims. All that stress for nothing

I'm glad it's all over. Now you can relax

Phew I am glad that’s sorted for you. I hope your antenna are more switched on to pick up tricky people and triggering environments and you can then intentionally swerve them - seek out calm, gentle and low stress people and places. Take care or yourself

Can they do him for wasting police time/harassment?

Have you got a link?

I looked for it yesterday, it’s been deleted.

And you’ve now learned to stop getting yourself involved in things on social media that could cause problems for you further down the line? Let me guess, you’ve already posted something to him about it?