I am so mad today and need to rant. I already know i am absolutely stupid to have put up with this so long and I am already in the process of preparing to separate. But these instances just tell me im doing the right thing and I have noone in real life to talk to about it.
When our kids were little , my husband was a lovely dad. Engaged with them, played with them, really loving to them, we would go on days out together etc
I didn't realise at the time but he never did anything with them alone. He would have them alone in the house but never took them out alone whereas I did all of the time .
As the kids have got older and became actual individuals with personalities and opinions I noticed a change in him. Any hobby they wanted to do: football, brownies , cubs, kickboxing , and now they are teenagers needing lifts to and from places it became apparent that it was all on me . I have called him out on this many times and he just refuses to do it without giving a reason. So if I was ill or somewhere else then the kids just couldn't go their club etc.
Now my son is a much older teenager hes started to want to stay at friends later on weekends etc. Again its me going out late at night in the dark and cold to fetch him, otherwise he can't go.
Im happy to do this for the kids but why does he feel he doesnt have to do it? Partly why ive stayed with him is because if the kids had to spend 50% of their time with him they would never be able to do anything.
At one point he did help with a school run for one child. But that soon slipped and now I do 2 different school runs in the morning, go to work, and then 2 different school runs on way back. Whilst he does none. He will do it occasionally if I need to work late or something like that. He words it as im already out of the house so makes sense for me to get them on the way home .
This past 3 weeks the children and myself have been really poorly with a horrible virus. I had one 3 hour nap and the rest of the time I still had to take them and pick them up from various places (it was half term). One night I picked son up at 10pm, I had an awful fever at the time. Whilst husband was sat at home?
Now he has got it , and yes its a horrible virus. He has spent over a week resting and hasn't lifted a finger at home and its still ongoing now.
More fool me you would say, and im kicking myself over it, but if I stopped doing these things the kids would miss out.
Why is he like this? Im addition he acts like he is superior to everyone else and loves nothing more than telling the kids off or dictating to them about something.
My son now barely speaks to him at all. Not even hi and bye.
My daughter was much closer to him at one point but now shes getting angry about it and has started to call him out on it . (No input from me) he absolutely hates this but shes just speaking her mind. I cannot wait to get away from this man. Sorry just needed to rant