Suggested Porn

[ThatZingyBeaker]

I've been trying to spice up my sex life in the last few months.My partner has been willing and keen too after many years together.
The other day I suggested we watch some porn together.We did and he wasn't into it and said he went along with it just for me.
I feel really ashamed of myself for suggesting it and setting it all up.
If I'm honest it was OK at the beginning then I started thinking wtf am I doing ?
How I'm feeling inside at the moment has actually put me of any intimacy at the moment .

It’s normal for your sex life to change depending on what’s happening in life!

I set up a Sexting WhatsApp that's locked and find it great sexy fun and he does too!!
That definately keeps the embers burning .
I didn't want ro become another sexless couple l.I adore my man and fancy him loads .

Yawn

Agreed ,but it's important to keep the intimacy even if that's just holding hands ,kissing etc .It can easily start to die a death .

Your overthinking well done for trying to something new
the fact he said yes doesn’t mean he was horrified
not everything you try is going to be a success

As long as you’re both communicating about it then that’s the main thing.

I really wanna by one of those baby bump moulding kits but to a moulding of my boobs instead and turn it into an ornament but my mum told me I wasn’t normal!! Lol

im 40 by the way and have a 12 year old boy. Apparently it’s not appropriate when he has friends over to see 🤣🤣

That's exactky what I said to him.
He really wasn't into it and told me so .
It's just me beating myself up about and feeling shameful for doing it etc.

Hi Op

i think some of the problem with using porn together as a couple is that peoples preferences can be very specific and you probably need a detailed conversation of what you both like maybe understanding that you possibly won’t find something you both enjoy together.

Did he ever mention he watched porn before you tried to watch it together as he may not really like it or he may not have found it erotic at all.

I found some of the ethical stuff can be a bit slow (make love not porn) female owned/lead stuff is much better(Bellesa) I have experienced having my porn curated for me at the IVF clinic and can somewhat relate to how your hubby may feel.

You sound like your having fun you tried it it didn’t work he may change his mind. His reaction sounds mature so I’d drop the shame and go again x

Oh and op if you fancy something different have a look at love is art!

We've watched porn many years in hotel rooms ,always my suggestion but that was years ago.
No ,he's OK with porn doesn't watch it and was OK with me suggesting it.
But he said he'd never suggest it and he knew it would be a,wastecof time in wasn't turned on.Tbh ,I got bored after awhile and should have shut it down but I didn't. It was a total failure .He let's me take the lead about most of of sex life and has shut me down on things he doesn't like .

No never whatever some women might think

Just forget about it and move on, remember you were willing to try something, didnt work, so try something else, dont sweat the small stuff

I know men who don’t, I know men who can’t get excited from a blow job, everyone’s different.

I tell you what though, bridgerton is soft porn! 🤣🤣

You know what? Don't be so hard on yourself @ThatZingyBeaker . Just because the idea didn't land as you hoped it would, you actually tried to come up with something to improve things. Ok, DP was not a fan, and you felt off, too. Rather than what a lot of people do and just shrug and carry on with things as they are, knowing it is not great, you tried something. That is great, and I hope your partner sees the value in that. Between a wife who can't be bothered to think of an idea, and just carry on unhappily, and one who will have ideas and suggestions to make things enjoyable for the both of us, I think I would always choose the latter. So please, give yourself some credit. And please disregard any post that suggests that something like this irreversibly damaged your relationship or killed something. For a couple in an established, long-standing relationship this should just be something to laugh about, and move on, plan A was a dud, let's think of a plan B.

I positive in this is pork doesn’t turn him on and he says he just wants it to be the two of you.
i would say go into the sex board for ideas on spicing it up. As you have no dc at home , different times of day or place at home can spice it up as well as a little fumble in the car like teenagers!

Hahaha porn not pork! 😅😅😅😅

I'm really surprised, I thought all men liked anything with adult content. After 36 yrs together you must know his 'thing'.

If watching porn together didn't get him going maybe go for stuff like a massage with a happy ending? Are you sure he hasn't got a closet full of sex toys and pvc outfits that he keeps for some me time .

Quite sure ;I know every cupboard and drawer in our house 😂

Yeah right !

Nope

Clearly not all men

Unmoved! Spellchecker wants me to write unloved ... might be pertinent of course ....

Anonymous taking out your trauma on people on the internet won’t make you feel any better

This. I thought every long term relationship would have incidences of bedroom suggestions that were a flop. As long as coercion wasn’t involved move on.